The Consequences of Irresponsible Parenting
By SYED MAJID GILANI
Growing up, I was fortunate to be surrounded by a close-knit community of family, neighbors, and relatives who deeply valued the art of storytelling. These tales, rich with lessons, guided us in shaping our morals and ethics. Among the storytellers was my grandmother, the late Syeda Sakina Gilani, whose wisdom and life experiences left an indelible mark on me. An educated woman of great moral principle, she not only shared valuable insights but lived by the values she imparted. What made her stories even more special was that she reserved them for our family, making them personal and deeply meaningful.
One of her stories, in particular, stands out as a haunting reminder of how unchecked indulgence and misguided love can lead to devastating consequences. In a quiet village, a woman lived with her husband and their only son. The husband worked tirelessly, often traveling long distances to provide for his family, while the wife’s toxic behavior subtly pushed him further away from home. She created an unbearable environment, compelling him to spend most of his time working in distant places. Despite his efforts to provide, the wife took sole control of the household, regarding their son as the center of her world, lavishing him with her undivided affection and attention. In her eyes, the son was her possession, while the husband was merely a provider, denied any meaningful role in their child’s life.
As the boy began attending a local school, his behavior began to show signs of trouble. He had learned these disruptive and irregular behaviors directly from his mother, who deliberately taught him to act in ways that went against the norms. This saddened and troubled his noble, innocent father, who had always strived to raise him with integrity and discipline. One day, he brought home an extra pencil and confessed to his mother that he had taken it from a classmate’s bag without permission. Rather than correcting him or explaining the gravity of stealing, his mother dismissed the incident with silence. This small but significant moment marked the beginning of a path that would lead to ruin.
Not long after, the boy got into a fight with a classmate and was summoned to the principal’s office. When his mother was called to address the situation, she shockingly defended her son, arguing that the classmate had provoked him. Instead of holding him accountable, she justified his actions, inadvertently encouraging his behavior. The boy began to perceive his mother’s defense as approval, and his misdeeds grew bolder with time.
As the years passed, the boy’s actions became increasingly troubling. One day, he was caught smoking by his classmates, who reported him to the school authorities. Hoping to prevent him from developing a harmful habit, the school called his mother to discuss the matter. Yet again, she dismissed the issue, claiming that smoking was insignificant compared to the worse habits others of his age were indulging in, such as gambling and committing more serious offenses. Her normalization of his behavior only reinforced his belief that he could act without consequence.
By the time he was a teenager, the boy had dropped out of school and turned to theft. Under his mother’s tacit approval, he became skilled at robbery, often targeting homes in the village. Meanwhile, his father, now too old to travel for work, stayed home to manage local business. He was horrified to see his son’s wayward path but found himself powerless to reverse the damage.
The turning point came one fateful night when the boy, during a robbery, was confronted by a homeowner. A scuffle ensued, and the boy ended up killing the man. The authorities swiftly arrested him, and he was sentenced to death by hanging. As per custom, the condemned man was granted a final wish. To everyone’s shock, he requested that his mother be hanged alongside him.
When the King, perplexed by this request, asked the boy to explain, he recounted the story of his downfall. He described how his mother’s silence and justification during his childhood incidents—starting with the stolen pencil—had planted the seeds of his destructive behavior. He blamed her for normalizing his misdeeds and undermining his disciplined father’s attempts to instill discipline. He spoke of how her refusal to correct him had emboldened him, ultimately leading him down a path of crime and destruction.
Overcome with grief, the mother realized the gravity of her mistakes. Her misplaced love, coupled with her failure to set boundaries, had cost her son his life and destroyed her family. The King, bound by tradition, granted the son’s wish. As the mother and son stood together on the gallows, the son’s final words served as a chilling reminder of the consequences of unchecked indulgence and a lack of accountability.
This tale, passed down through generations, remains a powerful lesson about the importance of responsible parenting and the dangers of enabling destructive behavior. My grandmother would often conclude this story with a reminder that love, while essential, must be balanced with discipline and accountability. It is through this balance that we guide the younger generation to become responsible and compassionate individuals, capable of building a harmonious society.
(Syed Majid Gilani is a writer and serves as a GST Inspector for the Government of Jammu & Kashmir. He can be reached at syedmajid6676@gmail.com.)
