By Shahid Amin
“Just being there for someone can sometimes bring hope when all seems hopeless.” Dave G Llewellyn
Anxiety is a process. A journey with no real end insight as it sits with you like someone acutely aware of your most vulnerable self and asks you to probe that more deeply until it hurts. It asks you to pull at the stinging, jagged scab of the wound. If you laugh and interact when looking at the something or spending time with loved ones, anxiety will remind you that it exists and that you need to take care of it. You’re not supposed to be excessively joyful or optimistic. You just experienced a scary, gut wrenching and agonising event.Also the past is there to remind you that what you do now will eventually become the past. You have a chance to make the present moment excellent. Don’t overlook the wonderful things you’ve already accomplished in favour of the things you could have done even better.
A lot of normal didn’t feel normal for very long like enjoying nature, buying clothes, watching movies, meeting people, talking about the inane, gossiping. Feeling ambitious and competitive about work these things made up a large portion of each person’s personality. However, this core fundamentally alters. You are not merely affected by anxiety; you are also changed by it. It changes the entire foundation of who you are, what you believe to be true, and what finding yourself means to you.
Anxious becomes more withdrawn from socialising, seems fatigued or lethargic and loses interest in normally enjoyable activities; they may be going through depression. Anxious life has a look, a feel, and a sound. You feel You’re trapped in your past, your circumstances, other people’s expectations, or perhaps just your own personal constraints of belief and behaviour, and you don’t feel like you can break free, you don’t feel like you can have that emotional freedom, that time freedom, seems you’d lost sight of your own power, strength, and identity. Some of the people you care about might be struggling alone with significant emotional loads. You took a decision which spoiled your life. You took a chance, and it didn’t turn out to be what you expected. Now, can you undo that? No. Can you go back to the moment right before you took that decision? No. Can you revert it? Hell, no. You frustratingly desperately want to. But you can’t. That anger on yourself is making you sad and upset.
They frequently feel uncomfortable confiding in others, not even their closest friends or relatives, about their problems. They could always appear to be able to smile and try to solve problems on their own, but it’s likely that they really could use some help.
For instance, if someone finds you enough trustworthy and expresses feelings of sadness and irritability and poured his heart out to you, don’t go for the last thing to tell him to brush his feelings under the carpet and “get over it.” Not everyone is built with the same levels of emotional resilience, so it is important to acknowledge that what he is going through is difficult for him, though it may not seem like a big deal to you.
The key to happiness is not about silencing negativity in ourselves and in others. When faced with illness, loss, breakups and other challenges, there is little space for talking about our real feelings and processing them. Acknowledging true emotions is the healthiest way to move forward.
Overdose of positivity is toxic and increases feelings of shame, inadequacy and isolation. It might originate from good intentions, but it does not do us any favors,
Being there for someone is selflessness. It is holding their hand through an awful time or just hugging them to let them know that you are there to support them in whatever it is that they are going through Being there for someone entails making the effort and time necessary to demonstrate your concern and availability.
Let them know that they can rely on you to take their concerns seriously. Being present means being dependable and providing sincere, encouraging encouragement. Sometimes you can take actual physical action, like having a walk with them, meeting them and sometimes you just need to answer when they call and want to talk. Be mindful of their nonverbal cues. Instead of waiting for people to approach you and open up to you, you sometimes need to be the one making the comments and encouraging them to do so.
But the one thing that any action you take needs to demonstrate is that you are genuine with your feelings. You cannot be half-hearted with your support: you need to be all in. This requires you to use your keen intuition because people who are suffering can be great at emotional hide-and-seek.
Overcome is a two way process every anxious should try to find a good one who can give him a spark to enlighten the darkness. Think now. What are you doing at this very second, right now? You are squandering your time by being outraged over something that has already happened. Presently, right here. An angry moment is a wasted moment. Knowing that some things are out of your control can be comforting. All you can do is your best to manage what you can. Trying can be challenging when there are other mental confounding factors. Do not be afraid to speak with someone who is experienced in handling those several situations. Nothing is totally spoiled yet. You can do something about it. You just have to be in the right frame of mind to think and ponder over what can be done.You have one life. Take chances, make mistakes, learn lessons, but always remember to keep moving on.
If you find the genuine one in this journey then anxiety will go with a lesson about yourself along the way and about the connections you build with those you value. Way you carry them, too. Whether actual or fictitious they are still present and very much with you.
Shahid Amin (pursuing MSC Physics in KASHMIR UNIVERSITY/ columnist), can be reached at shahidamin3286@gmail.com
