Being uneasy was as if just normal for him. For hours together he would be wandering around in his own world of thoughts. Ever quiet as if by habit by now, he would never say a word to anyone about his past. Only companion he had by now was his own self… The days would somehow pass in office work but in the evenings, he would find himself at the mercy of his memories which would bang on to his brains like a hurricane, creating a huge tempest in the very depths of his heart. In the forty years of his life thus far, he had not come in terms to compromise with certain things. Some people would dismiss him just as too rigid and stubborn while others would feel that he was crazy and not comfortable in other people’s company. He lived in his own world and valued his painful memories as a treasure. One evening, he just stumbled into a ‘book’ in his memory bank and it took him down the memory lane…
Those days he was studying in a Convent school in Europe. Although he had come to Europe with his parents some four years ago, but he was least comfortable there. However, his unease simply went away when an Indian girl came to study in his school.
Initially they wouldn’t talk. But one day they bumped into each-other inside the library. Interestingly, both of them were looking for the same book. The girl found the book first. So he came to her and started talking and soon both of them became good friends.
One day both of them were talking during the Lunch break in the recreation room…
Rohini: What a beautiful Rakhi Ameet! Ameet: (Looking at the Raid-1i tied on his wrist) It has to be, after all this is from my sister; she has sent it for me all the way from India.
Rohini: (Thinking something) Is she living there alone?
Ameet: No. Well, she is actually not my real sister, but she is like my sister. When I was in India she would herself come to tie Rakhi on me; but after I moved to Europe, she has been sending it to me by post.
Rohini: (Turning somewhat emotional) How calm is our country? Ameet, people there are really very good. They are very loving and caring people. Eid, Dusherra ah what a festivity on all these occasions …!
Ameet: Yes Rohini, I too was feeling very lonely and desperate here until I had met you. Every time I would be haunted by the fond memories of my country, my city, my people and friends back home, I had many a times told my mom and dad that I want to go back to India, but they are too busy in their business to heed me.
Rohini: Ameet when I was in India I would long for coming to Europe. After my mom passed away, dad brought me to Europe with him. Initially I liked this place very much but then soon I started feeling bored here.
Ameet: Rohini, had I not met you, by now I would have been dead for sure…
Rohini (Holding his hand) Ah, please don’t talk of death … I wish you a very long life.
Ameet: (Getting very emotional) Rohini you are so nice…
Rohini: Ok let’s move. Well the Lunch break is about to end and yes, I have to go home tonight.
Ameet: (Looking somewhat angry) Ah, every weekend you go away to meet your Dad ri and Every Sunday I miss you so terribly: Rohini, can’t your Dad take some job here in this town only so that you are spared of going away week after week to meet him
Rohini : (Smiling) Well, I will have to ask my Dad about it. As far as I know, his office is way too heavy and will need a powerful giant to shift it here…
Ameet: Ok, enough joking.., tell me what time are you leaving?
Rohini: I will take 6 O’clock train.
Ameet (feeling sad) So Rohini…
Rohini: (trying to console him) Hey, ok cheer up now. I will be back Monday. Now please smile…
After a while Ameet just lifted his eyes. Both exchanged a loving gaze and smiled…
In the evening Rohini was gone, and she never came back… The train she was traveling in met with an accident, killing all the passengers on board. When Ameet came to know about the train accident, he fainted and fell down. After several days when he regained his senses, he found himself admitted in a hospital. After remaining there for some two weeks he was discharged from the hospital, but life was never going to be same for him. Rohini’s sudden and tragic death had changed everything for him. He started hating his school, his books … everything. He reverted to his loneliness. He would shut himself up in his room and cry for hours, thinking about Rohini, about the cherished moments they had spent together. His parents were very worried about him. They did everything they could to bring him back to life, but Ameet was in no mood to share his pain with anyone, confide in none.
With this pain weighing him down, he returned to India along with his parents. But here again, nothing change for him. After a few years his parents died in a car crash. Now he had to shoulder every responsibility, including that of the business all by himself. While his parents were alive they had tried their best to nudge him towards marrying someone, but Ameet was not at all interested in letting anyone come into his life…
Days, weeks, months, years passed on but Ameet who would otherwise bring cheers to other people’s life had made pain and loneliness his permanent companions. Every evening he would come back from work to lock himself up in his room to rummage through his painful memories.
One evening, while he was going through his usual bout of sad reminiscences, his sister Kajal and her husband came to see him. As Kajal and Jagdish walked into his room, they found Ameet laying around in his arm-chair in pitched darkness. Kajal turned on the light which actually startled Ameet as he turned around to welcome his guests with a sort of fake smile adoring his lips.
Ameet: When did you people come?
Kajal and Jagdish came near, and Ameet pointing to the couch asked them to be seated. , Kajal couldn’t see her brother suffering like this.
Kajal: Ah brother, what’s this… you can’t be like this forever…
Ameet: (looking around at himself) Well, what’s happened to me; I am perfectly fine…
Jagdish: Dear brother, this is not done, I have never ever seen you smiling. You were like this, as sad even some twenty years back when Kajal came into my life because of you only. During all these years you have brought happiness to so many different people but you yourself continue to be as sad. Why?
Ameet: (hearing all this while looking towards Kajal) Well, isn’t it enough that my sister is happy? I am happy because you two are happy and that is all I want…
Kajal: Brother, do you know what day it is today?
Ameet: (looking perturbed) What day?
Jagdish: Well dear brother, it is Raksha Bandhan today.
Ameet: Oh yes… sometimes my memory just lets me down. Actually I didn’t go out today, it was Sunday and I just stayed indoors…
Jagdish: Well, we would have come yesterday only but then we have a guest visiting our home (Jagdish while looking towards his wife Kajal) What are you waiting for now, why don’t you go ahead and tie Rakhi on your brother?
Kajal came near and tied a Rakhi on Ameet’s wrist. Ameet took out some money from his pocket but Kajal refused to take it.
Kajal: No brother no, I am not going to take it.
Ameet: Ah you must be mad… well this is all about the tradition…
Kajal: No brother. Today you just listen to me and do what I want and I will think that you have done your bit as my brother…
Ameet: I know what you are going to say but that’s not possible. I am like I am; I don’t deserve to be happy; I can’t marry (They could see tears in his eyes, so Jagdish just shifted to talking about something else)
Kajal: Come on Kajal just leave it. This is not the occasion for crying. Actually Kajal and I were here for something else…
Ameet: (looking amazed) what’s that?
Kajal: Brother actually one Dr. Sachdev is staying at our home. He has been known to Jagdish for a long time. You just come and meet him once…
Ameet: Well, what has happened to me? Do I look like I am sick…?
Jagdish: Actually Dr. Sachdev is a renowned psychiatrist, of global fame…
Kajal: Brother we have talked to him about you ; he wants to see yoy.
Ameet: I don’t think it is going to help. Had there been a cure for my pain, then there were so many doctors around.
Jagdish: (pleading) Well brother, just for our sake, please meet him once…
Kajal: Yes brother, for my sake… please meet him once.
Ameet: (after thinking for a while) Ok, as you wish. After all, on this day (Raksha Bandhan) no brother could afford to annoy his sister. Tell me when do I meet him?
Both Kajal and Jagdish jubilantly shot back: “Tomorrow morning”!
Going through his personnel diary to look at his engagements for the day, Ameet agreed to go and see the doctor.
Ameet: Ok I will come, but one condition?
Kajal: Brother anything you ask for…
Ameet: You people won’t hold me there for long. I will have to be back in a couple of days as I am expecting some friends from Europe.
(Kajal and Jagdish agreed and next day Ameet accompanied them to their city)
Ameet met Dr. Sachdev. Since he was a very efficient professional, Ameet was highly impressed with the doctor. On his second meet with the doctor, Ameet could feel that he had for long wanted to meet someone like him for counseling. Today was their third meeting and they were drawing towards the conclusion …
Ameet: Doctor, I had never thought that I would so quickly start confiding in you.
Doctor: Well, this is what my work and experience of around forty years is all about!
Ameet: But doctor, I am sure that I won’t be cured. There is nothing that could alleviate my pain.
At this, doctor started tried to nudge him towards something else.
Doctor: Well dear Ameet, we are digressing a bit… And yeah, you were saying something about your childhood. Tell me what happened after you left India..
Ameet: (unraveling the knots of his memory) Well my parents took me to Europe and I was admitted in a Convent there. My parents would be busy in their own life — Mom in her own society, and Dad in his business. For their entire life they were busy making money. I was left all alone, all by myself and I still regret it… But then one day I met an Indian girl in the Convent,
And then Ameet told Dr. Sachdev everything about Rohini and himself. Dr. Sachdev was as if startled… it had set him as if whirling in his own thought.
But then, with a visible tremble in his hands, Dr. Sachdev pulled out a picture from the pocket of his coat and showing it to Ameet, asked: “Is this the girl you are talking about?”
Grabbing the picture like a mad person, Ameet shouted: Yes, she is Rohini… But where did you get this picture from…? Doctor, how do you know Rohini…?
Doctor: (sweating all over) Dear Ameet, I am like a tree whose roots have suffered a rot long back. I might seem happy and strong but I know it is just a matter of time when the wind will finally blow up this tree to dust …
(Doctor’s eyes were turning red and pain was written all over his face)
Doctor: Ameet that poor girl was my daughter… I am her Dad … Both of them were staring at each-other with tears flooding their eyes….
Syed Zeeshan Fazil is a renowned writer and author of several books. The story is an excerpt from his book “STRANGER ON BLACK HIGHWAY” ( A collection of short stories)
