Child Abuse, Death of Morality

Child abuse is the physical or psychological maltreatment of a child, can be differentiated into four major categories, physical abuse, emotional abuse, neglect and worst of all; the sexual abuse. Not surprisingly, most victims do not report the abuse to anyone. There is not a single law aimed at safeguarding children and protecting them against sexual abuse & assault, which is a serious lacuna against this background and is needed urgently. They can hardly discern between the evil, malicious and virtuous of men, who would intentionally hurt such harmless creatures and scar their bodies and souls?
Tens of thousands of children are abused all over India every year. And these are only the reported incidents of child abuse — many more cases are unreported and undetected, often because children are afraid to tell somebody who can help.
We always lived in a delusion and self-righteousness and considered our society(Kashmir) free from such an indulgence until way back when the rape and murder of the eight year old in Kathua led to the state-wide protests and demonstrations. An online and on-ground debate was stirred about the rising incidents of ‘Child abuse’ in Kashmir, a Muslim majority area where the issue was rarely acknowledged and mostly brushed under the carpet. A slew of other cases surfaced in the public conversation. In January, court handed over death sentence to a man convicted of raping and killing a child and soon after in February, the bail plea of a couple alleged to have abused a minor was rejected. There were harrowing revelations by survivors of sexual abuse by a faith healer from some corners of Kashmir. Some claimed to posses Djinns who would speak only to the children since they had sinned less than the adults, in garb of being a godman had abused more than 5000 children according to a survivor.
There is a taboo that surrounds speaking about/against the abuse. However, this is emotionally starker when the abuser happens to be a family trust which happens in nearly 60% of such cases. The victims might have shared certain emotional bonds with the abuser and the familial attachments might play an impediment in the way of the victims expressing their abuse. In certain instances, the family might shut the victim up in order to save the ‘family from shame’ .
The mental implications of such an abuse are worse. Most of those who have suffered it are rendered with a sense of guilt all through their lives, in the family and otherwise and have strong suicidal tendencies.. As such it may be assumed that child sexual abuse is one of the many causes of rising suicide rates, which mostly go un-probed and are usually ascribed to failed love affairs or family disputes.
The children who, out of fear, keep their abuse secret or are not believed when they tell, are more prone to the psychological implication of the abuse. Such children may suffer from a multitude of psychiatric disorders like PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder), depression, suicidal thoughts and a general sense of being sick and empty. ‘The survivors often don’t have a desire to live, some of them might even resort to the use of drugs and alcohol, these incidents leave them emotionally handicapped’, says a psychiatrist.
The most reasonable way of preventing sexual abuse is to teach the children, at right ages, about bodies, relationships and sex.
The impact of sexual violence on children is catastrophic – physically, psychologically and socially. Children who have been victims of sexual violence are often left with serious physical injuries, which can be particularly severe because their growing bodies are not yet fully developed.
Damage to children’s reproductive systems can leave them incontinent, infertile and condemned to a lifetime of bleeding and pain. They are at high risk of contracting sexually transmitted infections, including syphilis, gonorrhoea and HIV.
Girls who become pregnant can suffer life-threatening complications during childbirth, will often be forced to drop out of school and can face social exclusion and stigmatisation.
Their chances for further education, livelihoods and marriage may be severely diminished or completely eliminated, leaving them vulnerable to further exploitation.
Children need to be taught about which parts of the body are appropriate and which are inappropriate to be touched by others. They need to be given examples of ‘inappropriate behaviour’ by adults. Children should be advised to not give personal information to the strangers. If a child is uncomfortable around a certain adult, he should be asked for the reasons to it. The most effective way of such a structured communication between parents and child is to build a bond of trust with them and listen them out every time. The healthy communication and family bonding is a pivot in preventing sexual abuse of children.
The schools are central to raising awareness about the rising incidents of child abuse in community and education of children about identifying and preventing it. The abused children might find it more comfortable revealing the incidents to a teacher or a friend rather than a parent. As such, the teachers should be trained to identify such incidents and inquire into them.
There should be workshops and seminar on the issue, children should be educated on how to deal with the strangers and what should be the safe limits of intimacy and trust with people around them.
Parent education is paramount in prevention of such incidents. Most of the victimised children tend to have docile, obedient and compliant personalities. They might be children from unhappy families, since these children usually crave for attention and hence can give-in to any gesture of fake love shown by the abuser. Parents must be taught that most of the times the abuser is a member of the family or close to the family, like an uncle, cousin or a neighbour.
Abuse can be a solitary incident or it can go on for years, hence, parents need to build a relation of comfort and trust with their children so they feel comfortable to speak out whenever there is such an incident. Children don’t lie regarding the things which they don’t understand or which install fear in them, and hence any communication pointing to a potential abuse should be believed in and taken up very seriously.
The Indian Protection of Children from Sexual Offences Act, 2012 effectively addressed the problem of sexual abuse through “less ambiguous and more stringent legal provisions” that define sexual abuse in broad terms, which include penetrative and non-penetrative assault as well as sexual harassment and child pornography. No similar act, however, is applicable in Kashmir. There should be a an equally effective law in Kashmir which should be delineated form other laws that deal with molestation.
The social workers, activists and bloggers need to rake up an online debate about the issue. The more we speak about it, the safer our children will be. Together, all of us can prevent our children from being abused.