Those who are Seeking Physical Satisfaction in the Relationship doesn’t Understand the Essence of Love itself
BY SHAHID MAJEED MIR
To a mere eye Relationship is all about give and take. A connection which ties the human world with one another on a strand of parameters and conditionalities is a relationship bond. Although the fashionable use of word in an artificially crafted paradigm of relationship nowadays focuses on physique of partner which overturns the essence in itself. Relationship is literally a sort of mutual bonding between hearts of person in question who feel being connected in ways trusted to each other. The relation of parents with their children and vice versa are deemed to be one of the pious nature with miniscule of materiality. However to a more deeper understanding the relationship in these days is modified version of ideal pursuits. The relationship of love partners or those engaged in sense of love is nuclear in the scheme of things. This relationship is unique in its ways and means as the partners involved are either getting engaged knowingly or unknowingly which develops a bond forever. Whatever may be the means applied for getting together, the essence lies in creating a wholesome different world with different parameters and different pillars. This relationship is inalienable part and parcel of human world. In fact this relationship stands at the center of all relations in the human world. However this relationship although so nuclear has witnessed a downward trajectory in recent times. The relationship has lost almost all the ideals which rests on the foundation pillars as base for consequent bond which magnifies the perspectives for a sound and comfortable life. It has been reduced to a business transaction which only seeks answers in terms of profit rather than seeking terms of reference for strengthening pious relations. Why this insane change is an uphill task to seek answer? What lies at core of such a strange fabrication? Which terms of reference shall govern the relationship which makes it sacred and long lasting? These questions are often repeatedly resounding in the faculty of mind who unravel from the course of relationship itself.
There are various pillars of an ideal relation between the two persons who are connected via a bond of love. These pillars stand on the base of love and admiration. The pillars like Trust, Love and Truthfulness are foundation pillars of all the ideal relationships. What the relationship in literal terms seeks is the ideal version of three foundation pillars. The pillar of love is first such connection which uplifts the strings of heart to a level where the beats depend on the persona of partner. The feeling which erupts in the pulse of man is in reality connected with an unseen attribute of partner. This attribute in essence meets the demands of restive strings in the world of feelings. Those enlarged and lasting feelings with time raise to a status wherefrom dependency multiplies and becomes ingrained the stability of person. This real feeling makes one sad when the partner does so like Mothers feeling for I’ll child. This love when attains dyed in the wool status seeks refuge in the soul of man which is highest form of love where the physique doesn’t comes in sight. If the person at this stage like Majnun is asked for qualitative attitude of partner, the response meets with a sober smile of whatever it’s that’s it! This love makes one to believe in the conscience of others where the enlarged situation turns to Trust pillar. Trust is indeed most basic element in the ideal relationship. This trust empowers the psychology of person to level where all the do’s and don’ts of partner are accepted and abided as that of oneself. They are kept in high esteem for a progressive growth towards a complete understanding of all the prevailing situations. The last and the equal parameter that is of paramount significance is a truthfulness pillar in the ideal relationship which transcends the misunderstandings and fabrications if any in the initial stage for clarity and probity in relationship. Truthfulness is indeed more the acceptance of shortcomings than strengths which brings in honesty element for survival of true spirit of the relationship. The relationship based on the sound pillars stays for life and adds glamour to one’s life by making it more meaningful and livable. This spirit seeks a condition of true faith in the soul which correlates with stated pillars not physique which is not everlasting and attribute to cherish for.
The swanky element of relationship these days is the absolute mismatch in ideals for truthfulness and essence of love. In fact the grave and disastrous state of relationship as found these days is correlated with element of infatuation and attraction for a physique which contradicts the guiding principles. A poet in urdu laments like “yay hars wa hawas Kay sodayi aadabi mohbat kya jaanay….. Yay ishq kay maanay ka samjay yay husun ki keemat kya jaanay which nearly translates to all those who are seeking physical satisfaction in the relationship doesn’t understand the essence of love itself. The tragedy of contemporary relationships is lack of essence for immortal soul against outlook of person. This way of setting relationship with beloved is clearly binding string touching only the taste buds of a person without true essence. This is in contrast to What really matters for the ideal relationship. This drastic fall is in reality correlated with certain revolutionary ideologies which turned the things upside down and ruined the sacredness of relations. The initiation of liberal ideology and mentality has benefited to a great extent on one side but has taken a heavy and irreparable toll on the human relations. The saga of terming every relation as business transaction has usurped the ideal meaning of relationship. The materiality in the present era has dominated the real spirits and instincts. It has siphoned away the morals and ethics of human relations and alienated the social virtues from the personality of man. The society provides the raw material for building good credentials of man. Nowadays the society is enthralled with bad virtues for human relations which are viewed via prism of profit and loss. The implication of right and wrong has seen a sharp fall on eve of 21st century due to rise in material status of society. The society which teaches the person pornography and extreme liberty in the personal affairs isn’t expected to bear fruits of ethical relationship.
The social attributes to a general extent are on downward trajectory seeing the makeup these days. The conversion of sexuality to business transaction has turned wholesome state upside down. Nowadays the relationship is just a fashionable suit to be worn as a shining element without caring about qualitative spirits. The pious stories of Laila Majnu and Romeo Juliet are just cited as too extreme to be realised in actual practice. As the social pursuits proceed, the physique and outlook for a general satisfaction took over reigns leaving spirit far behind in the scheme of things. The relationship is now reviewed in the balance of quantitive spirit having etiquettes of materiality and physique for sexual desires and worldly claims. It’s so strange to witness a man questioning about status and glamour of partner knowingly without caring for spirit which is penultimate and jugular vein of relationship. Indeed the conditions of society are overall responsible for such a steep fall in the morals, however the individual at large shall always be held responsible in court of justice who seeks refuge in the short lived physical look of partner and leaving the admired immortal soul and spirit, love, essence et Al behind while deciding the fate. Having said that true relationship is indeed a great admiration and ideal which fine tunes the balance in the personality of man. It abounds the society with great respect and care feelings which stabilize the relations for smooth functioning of man. It’s worthy to remind ourselves that our partners are accomplice in the world of our feelings where strings of heart touch for the meeting of souls which lives long and goes on forever. Otherwise the relationship as it stands today is a mere business transaction for giving birth and satisfying wildly hunger while the precepts of ideal principles go unnoticed. Unless and until we turn towards guiding pillars in relationships, it would just remain as an activity rather than raising it to a status of “Ishq” where none there than love itself becomes culprit. The gloomy atmosphere of nowadays shall remember this spirit as it reads “Someone asked me why you remember when they don’t pay you in same coin, I turned to interviewer and said those who love aren’t meant for competition”. I admire my relationship that’s why I adore it, it’s of no absolute necessity that leash shall always follow the dog here.
Shahid Majeed Mir is an Author of the book “Untold Stories of Kashmir” and can be reached at mirshahid363@gmail.com
