Dr. Hameem Mushtaq Wani
Life is all about exams and the result of those exams. Sometimes we clear them and sometimes we do fail. If we see through the lens of optimism, failure is nothing but another opportunity and chance to participate again in any competition. Life goes on and the only thing that need is to learn from failures and to participate in another chance. The only loser is the one who surrenders and loses his will to participate. The only winner is the one who walks over the path of positivity and shuns negativity from his mind. The participants of any competition need to know that the world is full of opportunities, and what one needs to move on is ‘life’. A lifeless entity or a lifeless human needs can never participate.
Students are usually in stress during their entire academic year. As the results of our school students are at peak, one must remain calm. The only and the major cause of this stress development is excess expectations. So, the role of concerned quarters is to reduce the level of stress that gets accumulated in our students during their time in schools, colleges and Universities. One must be fully aware of the fact that we are born with individual differences and we must accept positive as well as negative things of our ward. During these tough times, what our ward demands from us is the emotional support. We need to build confidence in our children so that they can refrain from any negativity and keep themselves away from any harsh step. The unfortunate thing in this regard is that most of the parents, now-a-days feel that their reputation in the society is directly proportional to the academic grades of their children. We must have a clear understanding that the dreams of parents belong to their own generation and the dreams of their children belong to the contemporary generation. You cannot expect that the things that you could not achieve at your younger age will be fulfilled by your kids. Times change, so does the needs of an individual and society. If they progress, as per you wishes and aspirations that is good, but do not always expect and do not force them to achieve what you yourself could not. This will develop stress, leading to various health complications, depression being one of them. Rather than, focusing on producing as well-charactered and well-manned individual for the society, they are in the race of these so called academic grades, which in present circumstances rarely evaluate our future generation holistically. The holistic comes into the way. The need of the hour is the holistic development of our children. One must facilitate his or her children in their differential capabilities. The only focus should be that we produce a reasonable and a responsible citizen. It is not about the marks competition or percentage competition between students. It is in no way inter-individual competition, rather an intra-individual. Parents should not compare their children with others. This will lead to even more stress among them which ultimately increases their suicidal tendencies. One must not shut to doors of world over their children. Nothing significant will happen if one fails in his or her exam. Rather, we must know that sometimes failures even become the bed rock of successful life. It is only after failure, that a failed person becomes more experienced, as he tried another way. So he is having experience of more pathways, and he is able to compare among them and ultimately selects the one that leads to a successful life.
Instead of comparing to others, one must compare himself or herself with former himself. That is what I said earlier, that there must be Intra-individual competition. Today an individual must be better than yesterday. That is his real success. Our society does not need a depressed doctor, nor a depressed engineer. Only doctors, engineers and administrative officers are not successful in their lives, rather, our society needs good teachers, good business men and good poets as well. It is, in fact, a good teacher, who produces a good doctor, good engineer and a good officer. While working in a same school, same college and a same university, a teacher is able to produce a good citizen who carries research in space as well as in deep sea. Therefore, one can focus on to give his 100% in whatever profession and whatever field he is in. We can compare one individual with specific features to the another having similar features. We cannot expect frogs climbing trees. If we do so, we can remain day dreaming till last day of our life. So, we must let our wards to excel in the fields they are better suited for. The only thing is that we need to find out skills in our children. Do not force your wish to them, they may excel in their own way. But yes, the only thing that you have to keep in mind is the morality and discipline. You need to inculcate these two things in your ward, but at the same time, we need to remember that these things (i.e., morality and discipline) are caught and not taught. So you your-self need to be disciplined and morally sound, if you wish these things to be in your ward. You cannot teach your students the negative impact of excess screen time, when you yourself is addicted to your cell phone. A mother can never teach her children the negative effect associated with excess sugary and junk food, when she herself take it. I am totally not against the usage of cell phone, but to use it in a proper way, is the need of the hour.
Dr. Hameem Mushtaq Wani
Teaching Faculty
Department of Zoology
Central University of Kashmir
