Falling is bad and so is failing but there is no one who falls not and who fails not. In fact, a man learns to stand, walk and run only after falling, and failing, repeatedly and by consistency in this repetition. However, this cannot be achieve if there are not around those people who hold our hands when we arefailing, who encourage and appreciate us when we are falling. The first and most important of these people are our parents. Who can forget the sight of a father holding finger of a child, none. This piece of writing is specifically devoted to my father, and the fathers of all the people in the word.
To begin with we can say that the God Almighty has His mechanism, and scheme, to run the world. This mechanism and scheme is the best of all the schemes and mechanisms. For the scheme to run smoothly He has chosen some people amongst us and I think a father is very important constituent of that scheme as for as the human life is concerned.
He holds our hand when we are falling. At times he lets us to fall so that we could face the greater falls of life after he is gone. Unlike mother he may not seem calm, compassionate and candid but it is the qualities of the father which sets him apart from all other people. In his scold is our welfare, in his scornful gaze is our success, in his harsh words is our sustenance, in his gesture of disapproval is our entry in the great hall of success and in his demanding strenuous activity from us is the surety to overcome all the hurdles and hardships of our lives.
He may not seem lovable but there is nothing but love in his harsh behaviour. He may seem careless towards the needs and necessities of children but he cares, he sleeps not until he fulfils those needs and necessities. He may allow a child to fall only to make that child strong to face the falls of life which will be there when he is no more there. He lets a child to face the challenges of life on his/her own only to prepare him for the greater challenges of the future.
Life without father is incomplete and impoverished. He is our staunch supporter though he may not give us any impression about that. He is our admirer, our friend and follower without givingany indication to that effect. Most importantly, he is our teacher and guide, guardian and guard, saviour and sustainer and lover and reservoir of strength. He works for us when he is around and when apart. The legacy of his words, deeds, good counsels and principles remains with us as long as we are living, and even thereafter.
He lives not for himself but for our sake. He lives to make the otherwise difficult life easy for us, to turn its complexities into ease and to equip us with all the necessary lessons of life to accomplish the goals and objectives of our lives. He works in such a way to make the bumpy roads of life easy, to make us to safely overcome its quagmires, crevices, and cracks and enables us to rise above, much above, all the difficult mountains, precipices, hills and hurdles to reach the summit. His attitude decides our destinies. His intentions and activities are always designed to see us shining in the horizons and zeniths of success.
We say and he provides, we want and hefulfils and we live and he show us the art of living. Our desires are his main concern and to give practical shape to our dreams he invests all his resources, energy and time. He hesitates not and he halts not and works tirelessly for everything of importance to us. Without father life really is a maze of mazes where finding proper way and direction is next to impossible.
What we give in return in the contemporary world is not care but carelessness towards him. When he asks for something we hesitate, when he is in need we avoid. He remains awake so that we could sleep in peace but we sleep in peace when he is in pain. He applies the balms of love on our injuries with the blood of his heart but we rub the salt of insult on his injuries to get rid of him. He never feels at peace when his children are in distress and our only distress is the sight of our father.
He is one of the most important people in our lives but we realize not. We instead treat him the way we ought not to, we maltreat him and do not give him the deserved respect and honour along with the requisite care and concern. At times he is considered as a burden and thrown apart in his old age. That is the worst thing that can be expected from a person but the unfortunate reality about the present day society that it is happening, it is happening repeatedly all around.
Disobeying father is equivalent to disobeying the God for a he possesses at least one character of God, the character of giving to his children. He gives them whatever they want. He suffers all types of hardships while doing so but he complains not. His only concern is giving and expecting nothing in return except the smile and well being of his children. He works each moment of his life to make the future of his children bright, secure and sustainable. There are hardly and eulogies about the role of father in the books, journals and other literary materialsbut without his eulogy no eulogy can be complete. He is not given what is due to him. True, there are many men who have corrupted the relation of a father with their children but that is true also about all other relations.
On 14th of October, 2006 I was orphaned, my father died on that day after suffering a prolonged illness. As most of the people say about their fathers my father was the best father, there was nobody like him. There was no wiser person and there was none as special as he was for us. For us he was all knowing, powerful and all lovable. He taught us the art to living and recognizing the people. In his feeble body was the strength of the strong, in his illiteracy was the great knowledge, in his poverty was the wealth, and in his paucity was opulence. In his helplessness was the hopefulness that the hard days will pass.
No matter he was not well learned but all that we have learned comes from that source only. He showed us to uphold highest principled standard in life even when the world is against you. If we are faltering it is not because his teaching were wrong rather it is because we are not following what he has taught us. His lesson that never share your pain with the one who knows not what pain is makes me wiser to value my pain. Learn from the pain and take initiatives to save the people from pain.
Mine is not the life of peace but it is a life of possibilities, the possibilities which could make all the difference which could keep me in a different category of men. This is not my story but yours is also more or less the same. The architect of this life, the craftsman and creator of these possibilities for me was none other than my father. And, I am sure that in case of the reader it is none other than their fathers who are the architects of their dreams.
Those men, who have achieved great feats, may be not in monetary terms but in terms of making the world a better place to live have their fathers at the back of their successes. Their resolves and resilience is the outcome of such qualities acquired directly from their fathers. They may not acknowledge that in public but in private they know it, they know that without their fathers their life and success of life was incomplete.
The presence of one’s father makes a person wealthy and his absence make the same person a pauper. This poverty can be temporarily ended only by the remembrances and reminisces of one’s father’s good memories, no matter whether the memories are harsh or pleasant. It is these reminisces and remembrances which keep us going, and for all the other people who have lost their fathers it is theirs memories which keep them afloat when drowning seems the only possible outcome in the vortex of life.
The burden of life that was fully thrown on my shoulders by the death of my father was too heavy but the fighting spirit of my father was exemplary which had taught me to keep fighting even when nothing seems working. The burden against the advices and counsels of my father seem too light. He is living in the minds and heart of his children.
He is the beacon light that shows the way even when he is not physically with us. Wherever, I feel any hardship from somewhere someone comes to inform me that my father came to their dreams informing them about my hardships. Love you my father and miss you too much. May all mercy and blessing of Almighty be yours Ameen!
Fayaz Ganaie can be reached at fayaz.greatstep@gmail.com
