HAROON RASHID BHAT
Yet, the lessons of kindness, and love you taught us and the good experience of life you shared with us linger as lasting gifts that comfort and will sustain us till we journey to that peaceful shore and see you again.”
There is nothing like the love of a grandmother. Those of us are lucky enough who are enjoying or have enjoyed the love of grandmothers. Sometimes our grandmothers behave like a friend, a storyteller, a guide a source of wisdom, a confidant, and someone who will give it to you straight. She loves beyond faults, to a fault. My grandmother was always close to my heart, whether we were next to each other or a hundred miles away. She was the reservoir of happiness, humbleness, and generosity, brimming with joy at every stage of life with an unparalleled love for humans and humanity in general. Her name was Ayesha but I never heard anybody address or called her by this name. They used to call her with special tiles like Baud- Mouj, Ash-e-Poohap, and Aish-e-Masi. She belonged to a respectful family, having a very decent social and economic background. She learned the basic lessons of family management at a very earlier stage of her life. According to her, she was hardly twelve years old when she lost her mother and being the elder female member of the joint family, she had to perform multiple roles in the joint family. She gave motherly treatment to younger brothers and sisters. The experience that she gained during those odd times prepared her to face the most difficult situations that came in her future endeavors. She was unschooled but she was given due care and respect to books and maintained our Nanu’s (grandfather’s) bookshelves in proper order, cleaning the dust of the books with her Kashmiri headgear (Daug)- a simple piece of cloth square in shape. Her character gained more heights under the supervision of her learned better half who himself led a very disciplinary life. During those days, my grandfather was working as a Field Assistant in SKUST-Shalimar with foreign Scientists mostly from Japan. And whatever experiences he gained from them, he used to share all those experiences with all the family members but the maximum benefit of those brief and meaningful sermons were enjoyed and applied by our grandmother. Those beautiful moments are still safe in my subconscious mind. As a responsible spouse and a caring mother, she left no stone unturned to give basic knowledge of the Quran and modern education to her siblings. I was blessed to spend my childhood under her guidance. She initiated me into a world of play, where all things became fresh, alive, and meaningful. She was the epitome of love and discipline. She imparted me, love and tolerance. The way she taught us the etiquettes practically was praiseworthy.
As a child, nothing was more delightful than opening her envelope to find it brimming with Masal- boiled pulses with a pinch of salt and, powered reddish chilies., Nadir Moung- lotus stems flour added with some salt, Moungi Gadde- fish snack, Tili Kar- dried pea snacks, Pooratha- fried flour bread Lala Shangrum-a delicious made by mixing flour, semolina, and sugar deep fried in ghee, etc. when she returned from any religious festival. In our neighborhood, people yearned to have a bowl of Tahiri- yellow cooked rice, and Kahim Chayee- traditional Kashmiri tea served on the eleventh day of each Islamic month in memory of Sheikh Abdul Qadir Jeelani RA. She was a charismatic figure in the locality, and her appearance at social gatherings like marriage ceremonies, and festivals added more charm to these events. She produced several Kashmiri songs Rouf- chanted them with her sweet voice and traditional style. Usually, nonagenarian people suffered from dementia but even enjoyed more than ninety years of life, she had extraordinary memory power. When asked about the reason for her strong memory power and her presence of mind. She used to say, “My son, the reason behind this excellence is that I never miss my timely Fajr Namaz. I used to recite Darood or Naath Sharif while doing the family chores” She also produced many appreciation Notes (Naaths), and Kashmiri folk songs-Rouf in favor of our beloved Prophet Mohammad SAW. She was very witty. She developed a unique way of accounting the family income and expenditures. Those were just half-curved lines, circles, semi-circles, straight lines, etc. symbolic representations of Rupees, Paisa, Grams, and Kg.
There’s not every grandma bakes cookies, but it’s safe to say that all of them hold a level of wisdom that can guide us all through life. Our grandmas help to mold our parents into the people they are and do the same for us. You parted from us physically on Wednesday the 14th of December, 2022, at Midnight leaving a lot of lovely memories behind. Yet, the lessons of kindness, and love you taught us and the good experience of life you shared with us linger as lasting gifts that comfort and will sustain us till we journey to that peaceful shore and see you again. She used to say, “You will realize my real stature when I left this world for good and your accommodations will prove insufficient to accommodate the guests” Nani-Ma, your prediction proved true I witnessed the sea of people who attended your funeral prayer, and we received condolences from far off places. There is an Italian proverb if nothing is not going well, call Your Grandmother. I wish I could give her a call. May Almighty Allah bless you in the highest place in Janna!
“Yus Qari Bismillah, Tus Anaam Maayla
Alam Galye, Qhan Chuni Parwahie.
Yusay Khasi Nabi Soubin Haraye
Dil Manz Parayee, Ayee Quran
Aaye Quranas Dam,Dam Para.
Alam Galya Qhan Chuni Parwahie”
Haroon Rashid Bhat is a teacher and columnist and can be reached at minamharoon123@gmail.com