BY HAROON RASHID BHAT
As a student of sociology, I witnessed the numerous cases where a girl or a boy crossed the marriageable age in search of their life partner because either they or their parents put the hard condition that the family from the other side must belong to the same caste”
The Ministry of Statistics and program implementation government of India came out with the survey report under the title “Youth in India 2022”. According to this report, J &K has a higher percentage of the unmarried population which is 29.1 percent (age up to 29 years). The report also revealed that in J&K, more men than women between the age of 15 and 29 are single. This increasing trend is not a good sign for human civilization. There are many reasons or conditions associated with it. Some reasons or conditions are created by the system and are beyond the control of an individual but there are some which are created by an individual or a group itself. Let us first talk about a situation that is beyond the control of an individual.
Unemployment: For good and prosperous family life, the economic aspect plays a key role. Although in contemporary societies, both males and females are working but the male member of the family is supposed to fulfill the financial needs of the family. That is why families put the first condition that bridegroom must be earning hand only then they proceed for other conditions. This is such a condition that can’t be solved individually, it needs cooperation from the family and the state. The states can play a significant role to provide job opportunities and job security to youth so that they can earn their bread and butter without compromising their dignity. When we say job opportunity, it is not necessary only government jobs. This is ultimate truth that government can’t absorb all the youth in government sector but it is under the domain of government to provide financial help to unemployed youth to establish business units. Ensure the job security of those who are working in private sector because those working in private sector never considered themselves as employee. The reason is job insecurity, the private owners appoint the staff on their self-created bylaws centered on their vested interest. Whenever they wish, they throw them out. So, there is a need to implement employment or labour laws in the private sector strictly. Now let us talk about the conditions which are self-created
Materialist dominance: Marriage is a social institution as old as the human race itself. One of the most important attributes given to this institution is that it offered the first social relationship with Bani-Adam (The first man). This relationship is widely described and discussed in all religions. Also, there are clear cut norms and principles set for this sacred relationship like what should be the age of a girl or a boy? How the marriage ceremonies should be performed under the guidance of any particular faith? The rites and ceremonies of marriage have been different with different people and in different ages but one of the prime purpose of this process is to give continuity to human race. Earlier, the processes involved in the formation of such relationships were very simple but as society grew more and more complex, people introduced Wasteful expenditure and lavish spending, demand of dowry in marriages as a result of which it become expensive and tiresome which further led to delay in marriages
Rigidity based on Caste: Ours is a Muslim-dominated society and the Islam has completely denounced the concept of racism and casteism. Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) also denounced and opposed the concept of racism and casteism, not only vocally, but practically too. He furnished honor to those who were associated with several occupations -upon which castes are based. He married three of His daughters to people not from His family lineage. All of his companions strictly followed his traditions. One of the richest companions of beloved Prophet Abdul Rahman Ibn Awf RA married his sister to Hazrat Bilal Habshi RA who was an Abyssinia slave before coming into contact with Islam, setting a practical example for us and giving us a lesson that what truly matters is not once caste, creed, or color but the person’s individuality and his/her character. But unfortunately, our selfish attitude, ridged approach, and narrow thinking changed our mindset. We have set up our norms and conditions to categorize people as superior or inferior. We became so egocentric and materialist that we are giving more preference to caste than character while developing social relationships. Noted Kashmiri sociologist, late Bashir Ahmad Dabla conducted an extensive study on the caste system and finally came out with a book titled “‘Directory of Caste in Kashmir’. In which he deliberated upon the role of caste in marriage alliances in the Kashmiri Muslim society. As a student of sociology, I witnessed the numerous cases where a girl or a boy crossed the marriageable age in search of their life partner because either they or their parents put the hard condition that the family from the other side must belong to the same caste. Let us change this attitude otherwise it will be too late. Haroon Rashid Bhat is a teacher and columnist , can be reached at minamharoon123@gmail.com.
