By Mushtaq ahmad bhat
Widows , make up the important class of the society, but have been facing many problems in their lives since ancient times ,especially in Indian society which is full of taboos and superstitions. Though marriage is based on two persons of opposite gender that is male and female, but widowhood is mourned only by woman as if it has been sanctioned by the society. It is the name of widow which gets highlighted in the society where as the name of widower is put behind the curtains, and no one takes notice of his widowhood. Once a woman gets widowed , she begins to mourn the death of his husband incessantly, though it is natural to mourn the irreparable loss of his partner , yet she is not permitted to live life at ease. A bundle of problems gets opened when her husband leaves the world. It is not only her personal grief which she has to mourn , but multiple problems and challenges arise ,the very first problem which she has to face is the severe criticism on her from society regarding her views on re marriage and her conduct post her husbands death. Besides that ,she has to put gallop on her smile, happiness and social conversations. As if her right of living a dignified life has come to end. Regarding her health she has to keep mum, otherwise her personal care is also understood in a wrong way . Many women fall prey to different kinds of grave diseases in their old age as they suppress their personal health issues after their husbands death , frightening the severe criticism from society. When a widow is having children more responsibilities surround her, especially their upbringing after their fathers death. Her children are looked in different way and observed as well as analyzed on routine bases. The complex problem gets surfaced when widow has a female child, as it becomes an easy victim of public gatherings .Thus the challenge of security of issues comes to fore. Often it has hit the news papers the ruining of chastity of girls of widows in different cases. In India the effects of widowhood are also visible in schools and colleges , where if children of a widow show some change in behavior, the same is linked with their widowed mother. Some proverbs are in daily use and have found space in dialects , like he is the son of widow!, she is the daughter of widow who works in our house!.Thus a widowed woman is confronted with various issues right from personal to general, from economic to social, from mourning to security of her children and what not. This paper is being written with the objective of understanding the plight and problems which widows undergone, during widowhood, and tries to bring out some major solutions so that society can feel the pain of this dejected lot, and simultaneously provide a” safety valve” for their sufferings.
PART 1) MAJOR PROBLEMS CONFRONTED BY WIDOWS.
1) WIDOW , A SYMBOL OF MOURNING AND BAD OMEN: Once a woman gets widowed ,no matter what ever the reasons, she becomes the symbol of mourning. She has to arrest her smile and laughter, and put off her jewellery, colored suits and wedding clothes. All the time she has to mourn the life of the departed soul. Her attending of social gatherings like marriage, engagements, child birth, daughter in law view ceremony etc is generally viewed as bad omen .Even she has to discontinue her joining to festivals, like idd, holi,etc, as this generates entusiasism in person , but widow a symbol of mourning cannot celebrate this , but have to weep during these great events as well. Her name is uttered frequently by people during the mourning moments, sometimes her name is highlighted during mourning gatherings. This clearly envisages that she is a symbol of mourning. This cycle of mourning never breaks, it impacts the life of her children badly ,as it has been experienced that children of widow remain always disappointed even at schools and colleges when they remind the home atmosphere. This greatly affects their academic side.
2) THREAT OF INSECURITY: Widowed women, feel insecure post demise of their life partner, as there is none to protect them even through words. As the widow is frightening the other odds of life yet during unfavorable circumstances she is totally disturbed for the safety of her children especially of girl child. Even her relatives turn violent enemies for the reasons of struggle to rehabilitate herself and her family. And at times feel jealousy for her positive struggle to bring back her normal life cycle from grief stricken state. It has been found that the property of widow is more prone to theft as compared to other people living in the society. Hence a feeling of insecurity is constantly threating a widow.
3)OBSTRUCTIONS IN REMARRIAGE: Though remarriage is the option for women who have lost their life partner in young age, and same is recommended rather made obligatory by major religions of the world especially ISLAM, yet some orthodox and social dogmas of the society have made it a kind of grave sin. The society grades such women in lower class and they are looked in a humiliating way all through their lives. This kind of social obstruction creates bottlenecks in the way of remarriage and such women give preference to live a life of seclusion instead of getting remarried and swallow the sharp criticism from society. This shatters their dreams completely and they begin to live a life of burden, social ostracisation, sedentary, devoid of any objective like a dead corpse.
4) PROBLEM OF POVERTY: A widow sometimes gets completely lost in struggling to eradicate her economical problem. Often she has to fight the economic battle throughout her life all alone, yet never pulls out her family from the clutches of the poverty. The testimony of this fact is that there are usually long queues outside mosques, temples, churches, hospitals,etc of widows who seek financial support. The same is ignored by the society rather are constantly criticized. At some occasions a widows marry their girl child to old age men on the condition that the groom will bore the expenditure of their household items of routine life like salt, turmeric, milk ,tea etc. Thus economic problem of widows throws them in to dark ages from which they hardly recover.
5)VICTIMS OF VIOLENCE; Widowed women are more susceptible to affects of violence than other women. In the aspects of domestic violence widows have been chief victims. Usually a widow is target of domestic violence, after the demise of her husband as she has to fight for the rights of her children regarding the property share which her husband has left behind. Generally disputes emerge from property distribution of orphans, and at times orphans have been killed in the lust of property gaining. Besides that, in the regions of world where violence is at peak especially in south Asia widowed women have lost their honour and chastity and none is there to defend them. Besides violence is the chief reason of increasing the rate of widows in the world, for example in some countries like ANGOLA, BOSNIA ,KOSOVO AND SOMALIA due to armed conflict great number of men have been killed , this has led to make up widows half population in these countries .
6) SOCIAL OSTRACISATION:Widowed women generally remain aloof and separate themselves from the rest of society, as there is nobody ready to listen to their worries .She is all time grief stricken, and her visits to neighbors’ or to her relatives is usually categorized as inauspicious and a symbol of bad omen due to irrational thinking prevalent in the society. Hence she is socially ostracized.
7) VICTIM OF MALNUTRITION: Due to extreme poverty, widows suffer from malnutrition that is lack of necessary nutrients to their body. This weakens their body immune system and they become victims of different diseases especially skin diseases. Also her children also face same consequences with the result they appear old in their young age . Due to abject poverty they live in temporary shelters , this makes them vulnerable to violence and to health risks .
8) VICTIM OF DEPRESSION: Widows feel embarrassed, while facing different incidents of life, as they inwardly develop a sense of inferiority complex after the demise of their husband. The underlying reason of this thing is that widows feel alienated in their own family and society as they find it difficult to express their feelings with anybody else. This leads to psychological problems and finally culminates in depression.
9) PROBLEM OF INHERITANCE RIGHTS: Widows are denied of inheritance rights, this makes them insecure in their own family, although they sacrifice their whole life in protecting the property of their children. This is great discrimination done to this downtrodden lot. This denial of inheritance rights, humiliates them consistently in their family as well as in the society. In some cases, widows have been abandoned by their family members and are now living in old age homes. The chief reason being their lack of inheritance rights
10) STIGMA OF WITCHCRAFT. Widows have been traumatized since ages, by labeling them witchcraft, as is seen when the husband of any women dies especially of some newly married couple ignorant people believe that bride is the killer of her husband. This stigma of witchcraft haunts her throughout her life, and degrades her socially and emotionally.
11)VICTIM OF HAZARDOUS JOBS: Widows have been the victim of hazards jobs generally, as after the death of their husbands the family responsibility directly falls on them , as being generally unskillful , illiterate have to work in hazardous atmosphere like mines, chemical industries, cement factories and sometimes have to done menial jobs .This all affects their health badly and they fall prey to different diseases like asthma , lung cancer, blood cancer , strokes, high blood pressure, diabetes, hiv infections etc
12) PROBLEMS RELATED TO CHILD REARING: Majority of widows face problems in child rearing. They face tremendous problems in educating the children, completing their school assignments, in addition to this widows face problems in morally educating their children especially their sons. It has been experienced that sons of a widow never heed to the advice of their mothers, they usually scold and sometimes punish them by different ways. This way a widow has to face the wrath of her relatives and neighbours.She loses her honour and dignity in the society. This problem though over looked by people but traumatizes widows.
13) PERSONAL AND SOCIAL PROBLEMS: A widow faces immense problems in personal life, as she is not able to express her emotions to someone else; she feels lack of companionship in her life. She doesn’t dress soberly and maintain herself as it is considered a sign of immorality by society. Besides she faces problems in dealing with male guests, as she cannot talk much with male people as it is thought that widow has now forgotten her partner and is in search of some new one. This results in killing of her emotions and decline of confidence to handle the future life.
14) BURDEN OF DAUGHTERS MARRIAGE: Generally a daughter of widow during the years of helping her mother in domestic work usually crosses the marriageable age, due to which she either remains unmarried or has to marry an old person. The underlying reason for this case happens to be the abject poverty with which the widow’s whole family is grappling with. As the widow suffers from lack of economic resources she is not able to get her daughters married at appropriate time with perfect match, this leads to constant frustration of widows.
15) CRITICISM FROM DAUGHTER IN –LAWS: Widows also face sharp criticism from their daughter in –laws as they consider them unfortunate as well as unlucky creations. In majority of cases widows have been beaten by their daughter in –laws for none of their faults, also they feel insecure as being alone in house especially those widows are criticized who are either suffering from dreadful diseases and are on medication or whose sons are handsomely earning.
16) FORCED MARRIAGES; After the death of their husbands, majority of widows are forced in marriages like they are pressurized to marry their brother in laws, which is against the basic morals. In some countries it has been nominated as customary law, to marry their brother in law. This practice is known as THE LEVIRATE LAW which is still prevalent in many societies around the world. Refusal of such marriages often leads to punishments followed by terrific traumas. This breaks down their life to pieces.
PART 2) POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS OF THE WIDOWS PROBLEMS.
1) PROVISION OF INHERITANCE RIGHTS: Widows are denied of inheritance rights, due to which they feel complete alienation from the society. Denial of inheritance rights leads to erosion of their self-respect and dignity in the society. She safeguards the property of her children but doesn’t get complete ownership of land and property of her husband. This makes them easy victim in their family , as her brother in-laws degrade her by claiming the heirs of her husband’s property , she gets abandoned by her inlaws.In this context govt must promulgate an ordinance which could pay way to provide owner ship rights to the widows. Right to inheritance of widows should be incorporated in constitution in the chapter of FUNDAMENTAL RIGHTS , even if it invokes amendment procedure in the constitution , .It must be a basic RIGHT TO LIFE for widows.
2) INTEREST FREE LOANS: Government must enact a law in consultation with RBI, so that a scheme is devised under which widows can avail the facility of getting interest free loans, as they face economic problem .Many widows live in abject poverty as they have none to earn .This way they can be pulled out of the poverty and can be financially empowered .This will upgrade their status in the society . They will live a dignified life and can run their life successfully. Also it will protect widows from clutches of money lenders , who lend money to widows at an exorbitant rates , and finally when it is not paid back this leads to forfeiting of their husbands property.
3) FREE HEALTH FACILITIES: Government must provide free health facilities to widows, especially those who are suffering from some grave issues. As widows often suppress their personal health problems due to financial problem .They sacrifice their whole life for their children and consume every hard earned penny on the family .In this regard they usually avoid or ignore their personal health issues and consider it as DRAIN OF WEALTH if they utilize their hard earned money on their personal care .In other words they give priority to their children’s facilities and simultaneously defer rather avoid their personal health problems completely .Besides , widows face health issues after their menopause , so a well-planned health scheme under which free health checkup and free availability of medicine at health centers especially in rural areas can play a pivotal role in maintenance of health of widows while at the same time can save their economy.
4) HIKE IN WIDOWS MONTHLY HONORARIUM: Since there is major chunk of widows living the life of destitute in the society, due to lack of adequate resources. As there is none to earn except widow in the family government must hike their monthly honorarium which has since ages remained at constant rate .This will reduce their economic burden and will help in meeting the basic requirements of routine life like salt, turmeric , chilies etc.
5)DISBURSEMENT OF HONORARIUM THROUGH POSTAL SERVICES: As major population of especially lives in rural areas, the widows of rural areas find it hard to visit banks to receive honorarium due to paucity of time. In this context postal services can be availed which could provide home delivery facility to widows especially who are specially abled or suffer from major health issues receive honorarium at their homes through money orders.
6)FREE ELECTRICITY: Government must provide free electricity to the families of widows, this way they can take advantages of modern gadgets which could make them economical, like they can cook , make tea or wash clothes on electronic devices .Further their children can excel in academics as many students of widows discontinue education due to non-availability of light sources.
7)SPECIAL SCHOLARSHIP SCHEMES FOR ORPHANS: There must be provision of special scholarship schemes for children of widows who are studying in different colleges and universities. As it has been experienced that children of widows discontinue their education either at college level or university level due to financial reasons. Despite being hard worker and meritorious they fail to continue their education as heavy amount of expenditure is incurred annually for graduate or PG students especially for professional education. Special scholarship schemes for regular students can play a crucial role in completing their higher education without losing interest or falling prey to depression.
8) SKILL BASED TRAINING: Government must provide skill based training to widows such that they can get jobs in government as well as private sectors like carpet weaving, tailoring, embroidery, etc. This could empower them economically as after successful completion of training they can work even at their homes and will also get jobs in different departments.
9)WIDOWS SELF HELP GROUPS: Widows need educated so that they can form different groups of their ages and work together to increase income like honey production, dairy farming, vegetable growing, silkworm rearing etc. This will remove them from clutches of poverty and will bring peace and happiness to their families. Futhermore , the responsibility of safeguarding the property of widows must be given to panchayats . This will upgrade their status in the society and simultaneously will relieve them of fear of insecurity
11) ASSISTANCE IN MARRIIAGE OF WIDOWS DAUGHTERS. As due to abject poverty widows are not capable to arrange the marriage of their daughters, the result being they cross the marriage or remain without marriages forever or else fall prey to lust of different unwanted people. Government must formulate a policy which could provide them assistance in conducting marriages , there must be separate fund like hat of RED CROSS , at district level so that hands of widows daughter doesn’t remain dry for whole life. Though government has already formulated schemes in this backdrop, yet much more is required.
12) ROLE OF NGOS IN EMPOWERING WIDOWS; NGOs can play a tremendous role in empowering widows in educating them in legal matters. They can also help them financially. In addition to this they can help their children in career counseling.
13) RIGHT TO REFUSAL OF MARRIAGES: As forced marriages take place whenever a woman especially a young one gets widowed is persuaded to marry her brother in law, without taking her into confidence. This triggers frustration in the life of widow. Government must enact a law, RIGHT TO REFUSAL, so that widows are not discriminated by their in-laws for their vested interests.
Mushtaq Ahmad Bhat is a Teacher by profession and recepient of Sahitya Kamal Award in Literature, he can be reached at mushtaq.butt4u@gmail.com
