By Syed Bazila
The question of “my existence” haunts me, since I entered in my adolescent age. Sometimes, this question becomes adventurous and sometimes per-adventurous. Human nature is very much inquisitive, when a pursuit becomes to solve the unsolvable mysteries, life becomes adventurous. Human nature is also fragile, when your inquisitiveness gets cultural, religious and social impositions, life becomes Jo unadventurous or Peradventurous.
The attitude of “MYLIFE” is not my individual choice alone, it is determined by above mentioned factors as well. When a person is caught between the divergent pulls of head and heart, life becomes volatile and attitude towards it becomes flabbergasted. Question arises here, how one can decide the attitude of his/her life, when the life is actually not his/her alone? Hence at this juncture, existence seems you a big fraud and you find yourself submerged in an ocean, where nothing is available, except big questions. Who I am? Where from I came? Why, I have not been asked about my tragic birth? Who created me and why? What had I done to my creator, before my creation? Finally, does creator really exists? To whom shall I ask these questions because life is not mine alone! A speck of existence, on which I have hold, doesn’t allow me to ask these questions otherwise I have to spurn this speck as well, to the butchers of modality.
My attitude to life is; to cross the boundary line, which is set by the society. I want to live a life which would be governed by my choice. I don’t want to wear, what society prescribed. I don’t want to eat, what religion prescribed. I don’t want to perform prayers, what tradition and custom preached me. But, my choices are always sacrificed because of God’s bequeathment policy. In this sempiternal world people like me, are caged. Sometimes, I ask myself; shall I remain silent and to bear the burden without murmur? Milton comes to my rescue: he would say, “….in this dark world and wide, and that one talent which is death to hide lodg’d with me useless,…’”. It is suicide to resist your feelings and thoughts. Although, when a person takes cudgels against the social norms, tradition and custom he/she inevitably becomes persona non grata. Amidst all this fuss, I practice tolerance, and promotion of co-existence. I believe in truism and scientific endeavours. I reject all the moral theories, the rules of which are laid by someone to whom I never met or saw.
Syed Bazila hailing from North Kashmir can be reached at sabaamin111@gmail.com
