Anika Rashid Farash
No matter how old we become we always need our father and wonder how we will get without them. A father is the one who guides his daughter through life and even after death. My father proved me that love never dies. He speaks to me through dreams and music When I close my eyes imagine him, I can still feel him besides me in my smile and tears in my darkness and sunshine.
Since he left us, I have received endless calls, photos, emails and texts telling me what a great human being he was apart from being a remarkable artist. It is extremely hard to believe that today marks his 13th death anniversary.
The decade feels like a lifetime has passed and sometimes it feels like it is just an incident of yesterday. It was the same dreadful day of December with bone chilling cold when the phone of my maternal home rang and we received the devastating news that shook us are left us completely frozen. These thirteen years changed everything, brought forth in me a sea of trauma yet patience. When he left us, I was mere a primary schoolgirl. My grief became so overwhelming and suffocating during the decade that on numerous occasions I was convinced I too was dying. His absence had but heavy burden on my heart and soul but at the same time taught me how to live life even when it’s terrifying and difficult, to love life even if it seems that all the things will collapse. I’ve learnt to carry all the responsibilities that even an adult can’t carry. I’ve learnt to be patient and not complain about his loss to anyone but I will always carry the pain and suffering in my heart. I leave it to my heart to compose and sing songs in his loving memory. His memory is a muse form and the best of my poetry originates from the stream of his love. These days I count how far we have come during this decade and recently my younger sister AREEBA who was just three years old when he left us is now, grown up. I now wonder how will we possibly survive our important occasions and future without him by our side laughing and singing
He’s the biggest influence in my life and his ideas and principals will remain with me forever. I want to carry on in his footsteps and make sure that his legacy lives on forever. There is so much of him in me that my mother often glances at me and then adds “you are the exactly your father’s eyes and expressions” I pray that my beloved father is at peace and right there is a place in Heaven from where he looks out and sees all of us. His beautiful legacy continues to grow and thrive and he will be always a part of us. I love him and his enlivening memories.
Anika Rashid Farash can be reached at anikafarash@gmail.com