At 8 AM Shanta ji’s brother and his wife arrived from Delhi . They declared their presence by Mournful Shrieks the moment they stepped inside Pran Nath’s the house . Bengaashi moved forward to console Sheela ( wife of Shanta Ji’s brother ). Shanta Ji’s Brother also cried ,
“ Ye kossa Traeth Peyyii Aessi ? Why has this lightning struck us ?”
While Pran Nath was narrating to them how suddenly it all happened , kaanta and her son arrived and hurried towards the Kitchen. Bengaashi guided them as to how and what they should do . Bengaashi also advised Pran Nath to take his bath and sit in the room prepared for the Male mourners who were expected to pour in shortly . She also gave similar advice to Shanta ji’s brother and his wife sheela.
Groups of mourners kept visiting Pran Nath right from the morning to express their condolences . Relatives , Neighbours , Friends and acquaintances poured into the rooms prepared for mourners . Male Shoes and ladies sandals kept outside at the room entry directed the mourners to respective rooms . The mourners would Sit in silence for some time and then pick up some communication threads .
Ram Krishen also sat close by for the whole day . Many times , he would give his final Punch lines in these discussions. …
“ Yi Guv Mahraa Mahaa Kaal . Baakaai Gayyii Bahaan’a . Vaenn Chha Heimatt Heann.Yi Chhuv Na Vuchhaan Raathh Ha Saa ardaah Vuhur Jawaan Guvv Matadoruss Tal . Garrie draav Tutionuss.Traeth Tchheinin Maaliss ta Maaejji “
“ This is Mahaa-kaal sir .The rest are causes . Now one has to be courageous. Don’t you know yesterday’s Matador accident that killed a young boy of 18 years. The poor boy had gone for his Tuition classes . See what a tragedy befell his parents “
Some times one could misunderstand these mourners . They behaved more like gossip mongers than real sympathizers .Once a mourner settled with initial expression of sorrow and sympathy , he would not hesitate to start a discussion on current Political situation or newspaper headlines .One by one these mourners would seek permission to leave while others kept entering . Some went closer to Pran Nath seeking to know if he needed any specific help. Some sought to know the date and place for performing of 10th Day ritual .
Kaanta”s son kept serving cold water and Rooh Afza drinks to all .Two Pedestal fans were also placed inside the rooms to keep them airy and cool.
It was 2 PM now and the mourners had left leaving Pran Nath’s family alone. Bengaashi immediately asked kaanta to start serving lunch . She told her ,
“ Balaai lajjiss Baisahabuss (Pran Nath ) Yu Chhu Raata Pyaathaa Faakaai . Zinda Zuvuss chhaa Kenh Vaataanaavun. Karivv Jal jal. Pakaan Aasun “
“ It pains me to see Baisahab ( Pran Nath ). He has not eaten anything since yesterday. To Live something has to be eaten . Finish up with this lunch business now . People must be coming ’
Reluctantly , everybody ate simple Rice and Daal that Kaanta had prepared after washing all the utensils and collecting fresh water from the PHE supply tap.
Ram Krishen also went to his house nearby to have lunch with his family .After he returned , he found Pran Nath fast asleep in the room. Pran Nath had probably felt a little comfortable with the food that he had after almost 24 hours .Ram Krishen did not disturb him but went to lobby where other family members were taking their meals while Kaanta and her son were serving them . Ram Krishen then turned towards Bengaashi ,
“ What are the children doing ?”
“ Seema ( Daughter) is married and settled in London while Abhishek ( Son ) is serving in IBM Bangaluru . Now my worry is only His marriage and then we plan to go to Haridwar . We have bought a one room Flat over there. It is exactly on the banks of river Ganga . May be just 2 kms away from Har Ki Pauri “
“ What are your children doing ?”
“ I have already married my Daughter and she is settled in Ghaziabad with her husband who is Manager in a Private company . They have a parental house and he is the only child . Sonu , my son has completed BE from Pune and was serving with TCS at Mumbai. He resigned from the job and has appeared in some competitive Examination . These children know better what they have to do. He says that he has to do some Masters . I do not know what is that .His mother is so happy to see him around . Left to me , I would like him to take up some employment in the State Government or go for KAS so that he could remain nearby .His mother is a sugar patient and I have also retired now . I would like him to get married as early as possible and settle with his own family. This house and this New car that I bought can at least be put to some use if he is around. He does not discuss his future career nor do I insist . I am happy that he is with us . ”
“Very Social and affectionate like his father . He has come three four times since morning for help and support to us “ Added Bengaashi .
Some male mourners then entered the room. Ram krishen rushed to awaken Pran Nath.It was hot and Humid . Bengaashi asked kaanta to serve the mourners cold water and Rooh Afza Drinks .Thereafter she advised Kaanta and her son to eat while she went to the room where lady mourners were expected to arrive .
The lady mourners had a different method of expressing their grief. Some wept , others cried loudly some just took out their Handkerchiefs and started wiping their dry eyes and sighing and making sad facial expressions . They discussed Lakshmi and her parents who resided in Singapore .
Some ladies said,
“ Lakshmi should have come with her husband . After all Shanta ji was her mother in law .”
Some women also discussed the mode , method and suitable day for Chhallun (washing clothes after death in the family ) , Hontch ( Ashotch or uncleanness created by death ) , Punn-Daav ( Symbolic Thread to be tied to ears by ladies after death in the family ) , Ritch Vaar ( Good day during mourning period ), Teel Dyunn ( Deep Daan ritual after death in the family ), Maasvaar ( Monthly ritual after the death ) , Shadd’moss ( six monthly ritual after the death ),
Tarpan Ritual and so many other rituals of Kashmiri Pandits .
As and when any close relation of the would enter the ladies room , the women in mourning would start symbolic expression of grief till the incoming mourner settled down .
The rooms were busy with mourners for the full day . Pran Nath had no time to go to washroom or toilet. The unending stream of mourners kept him tied to a place in the room for almost full day .
Next day there was a crowd of mourners . People expected Sanjay to arrive and Samskaara to be performed . That made everyone to visit the family. Men had to sit outside open chairs as the room for male mourners was packed to capacity .
It was at 1 PM next day when Pran Nath received a call from Sanjay . Sanjay had reached Delhi and was waiting to board his Jammu flight . After sanjay ‘s call. Pran Nath received a call from Sushil Mahajan . Sushil probably had a detailed discussion with Sanjay the moment he landed in Delhi .
“Daddy ji , Sanjay shall be in the house at 4.45 PM maximum. So you be prepared for that . I am coming at 4.00 PM along with the body and Shastri Ji . We shall be performing Anteshti ( Cremation ) Samaskaara by Vedic method as Sanjay shall be here only for five days .I have also talked to Shastri Ji from Arya Samaj. My brother shall be bringing him to your house at about 3 PM along with all the requisite SAMAGRI ( items needed for the Cremation). He shall also bring loose Fresh flowers and some garlands . You just get the Wooden Bier collected from the Cremation Ground near your house . Leave the rest to me. I also need to speak to Your neighbor Ram krishen Ji, if possible.”
Ram krishen also spoke to Sushil Mahajan and carefully listened to all that he said. The moment he dropped Sushil Mahajan’s call , he turned to Pran nath,
“ So we are not performing the final Samskaara by Sanatan Dharma way or by Our age old customs . He has already decided to conduct the cremation by Arya Samaj way. Just Four days and all is over . He will do Cremation today followed by immersion of ashes tomorrow and then a Hawan and Shanti Paath on fourth day. That is all. No Pind Daan rituals . No Shraada . No 10th day , 11th day and 12th day . What about the Maasvaars and other rituals? Will her soul get peace and liberation by these short cuts ? How time has changed for us . Now we are going for the Uthaala and Rasam Pagri . So let me go to the temple and get the Bier. “
It was sharp 3 PM when Sushil Mahajan’s brother brought Shastri ji from Arya Samaj along with the requisite Samagri ( items needed for cremation ) and flowers . Ram krishen had already brought the Bier and out of sheer curiosity, he opened the SAMAGRI bag. He was surprised to find a Desi ghee tin of 5 kgs along with about 1 Kg of sandal wood sticks and dry fruits .Before he could say anything , Shastri Ji from Arya Samaj requested every body present to come closer and listen to him just for five minutes. And then Shastri ji said,
“Have you decided to perform Anteshti by Arya Samaj method ? There should be no controversy or doubt over it as most of the kashmiri Pandits think that the Samaskaara ( Ritual ) performed by Arya Samaj Methd is not as per Sanatan Dharma and as such have some misgivings about it .I need to clarify this to all of you so that you understand things in proper perspective.
As per our ancient Texts or Vedas we need to perform 16 Samaskaaras . These arte GARBHDAAN ( performed for the continuation of human race on the planet ), PUNSAVAN ( performed after Pregnancy for the physical growth of the child), SIMANTONNAYAN ( performed after 6th months of pregnancy for the mental growth of the child ), JATKARAM ( performed to welcome the child to the family), NAMKARAN ( performed to give the child a suitable name ), NISHAKARMAN( performed when the child is of four months . The child is taken out Ji of the house and given exposure to nature ) , ANNA PRAASHAN ( offering first solid food to the child ), MUNDAN ( shaving the head of the child ), KARNAVEDH (Piercing lower ear lobes of the child ), UPANAYAN ( Yageopavit or janew or sacred thread ceremony ), VIDYA AARAMBH ( starting the education of the child ) SAMAVARTAN ( preparing the child to shoulder responsibility independently ), VIVAAH ( marriage ), VAANPRASTH( passing on family responsibility to children . this is done after the age of fifty ), SANYAASA ( withdrawing from family life and shifting to self realization and meditation) and finally ANTESHTI ( The last and final samaskaara performed at death )
ANTESHTI is the last and most important Samaskaara performed so that the five elements that this Human body is composed of return to their origin while the soul remains immortal.
Our Vedic Samaj believes in performing the cremation in a proper way like a HOMA to purify any impurity created by the death . That is why we use pure Items like GHEE and SANDAL WOOD . Many kashmiri pundits are surprised when I perform Anteshti by Vedic way. We Arya samajis collect the ashes next day for immersion in a river . This is followed by a HOMA on fourth day inside the house wherein VEDIC Mantras are recited . Nothing after the Shanti-Paath is over. You may feed poor and destitute on that day and start your normal activity . We do not perform Pinda Daan etc. But Arya Samaj believes that if some one meant so much to us , We should not forget him altogether . Accordingly , once in a year , a day is reserved for the ancestors and a Homa is again performed on that day with recitation of VEDIC Mantras . Arya samaaj believes in cherishing the memory of the deceased rather than suffering in his memory both physically and financially . This is how our saints and sages performed the final Samaskaara . Why are kashmiri Pundits not accepting it when their society direly needs it. They are scattered all over within the country and outside it as well. Even one family is scattered . Children do not live with their parents . Your children rush from various corners of the globe for this final Samaskaara . Can they leave their work for 15 days ? I am not against the way you do your rituals . After all these are being done as per SANTAN DHARMA .But this method of performing rituals will vanish with this generation. So do you agree to my performing the ANTESHTI by Arya samaj way over here ?”
Every one was impressed with this lecture of Shastri ji. Pran Nath nodded his head in agreement.. Ram Krishen was silent .Ladies started side talks and then Shastri ji , sushil Mahajan’s brother and Ram krishen started decorating the funeral Bier with flowers and garlands .
Sushil Mahajan brought Shanta ji’s body from the Mortuary exactly at 4 PM and left for Air port to receive Sanjay.
Shanta ji’s body lay Stiff , cold and pale .The ladies gave it a bath with lukewarm water and kept reciting the Sanskrit shloka.
“ Khshantavyo Meparaadha . Shiv Shiv Shiv Bho , Shri Mahadev Shambho “
Thereafter the women put the coffin over Shanta ji’s body after closing all the exit points like ears , nose , mouth , eyes and Urine and excreta etc .Bengaashi kept one golden finger ring with the body and removed rest of the gold ornaments delivering them to Pran Nath .
Sanjay and Sushil arrived at 5 PM. The August sun was still hot and humid . Sanjay was Under jetlag but kept erect and calm. He touched his mother’s feet and bowed in silence and moved away allowing shastri ji to finish .That was all he did. Ram krishen expected him weep or burst in emotions. At that moment ,Pran Nath felt tired and was possibly thinking
“Does death disconnect ? Is human relation linked with mind and not the Body ? Obviously A mind that no longer exists has no relations or links whatsoever .To reconnect with body alone is to invite terror and fright .”
Pran Nath ,Sheela and Bengaashi put a shawl over the Bier carrying Shanta ji . Pran Nath also put a shawl over the Bier that Ram Krishen had purchased and handed over confidentially to Bengaashi.
As they decided to lift the Bier ,Ram Krishen intervened and said ,
“ Shastri ji , Wait for 10 minutes . Let us perform the final Vishnu Astuti before we depart for cremation “
And then Ram Krishen made every one to recite Vishnu Astuti in sanskrit. Together they recited
.
“ jai Naryan Jai Purshotam
Jai Vaaman Kanssaare…
Udhar Maamsuresh Vinaashan
Patitoham Sansaare…
Goram Harmum narakiripo
keshav Kalmash Bhaaram
Maan Anukampaya Deenam Anaatham,
………….. Kuru Bhav Saagar Paaram ..
…………..Kuru Bhav Saagar Paaram“
Next day , A Notice in the newspaper informed every relation and family friends in Jammu about the Shanti Paath on 4th day .After the Shanti Paath was over , Sanjay had some time to talk to his father .
“What do you plan daddy Now ? Are you satisfied with this Arya samaj ritual ? In case not , I have no issue if you go for 10th day and all other rituals but I have to leave day after tomorrow. I have some official commitments that need my presence . I shall be immediately transferring about 3000 Canadian Dollars which is about 1.50 Lakh Indian rupees in your account that you may need .Apart from that ,I would be happy to see you with us in Canada as soon as you can manage. I shall be worried about your welfare now. I have also told Sushil Mahajan for a Cashless Medical Insurance policy for you. He will himself do it and you need not pay him. I shall settle myself. That is very important. Please stop driving this Scooter now . Drive car only . Your reflexes are not as sharp as they used to be when we were kids and then this two wheeler is always risky. You must keep your activity schedule . I believe this woman Kaanta is ideal support . Let her continue . I shall fix up wither for cooking your Lunch and breakfast . Even if she charges 4000 rupees per month , we have to go in for that . I may send you monthly about 400 Canadian dollars which is about 20000 Indian rupees . I believe that is fine . Bengaashi is also here and I think things shall get managed for some time . But I want you to come over to Canada finally.”
Pran Nath felt relieved with these words of affection and care . For the first time in his life , his son had talked so intimately with genuine concern . Ram krishen’s eyes were moist He felt like weeping.
He felt like smoking at that moment . To himself he said ,
“These human Tears are a strange phenomenon. They trickle down more with sudden happiness than pain or grief . And how strange , this sudden happiness makes you to weep and smile at the same moment . “
About three months after Sanjay had left for Canada , I visited Pran Nath’s House with a prospective Tenant who was a Bank officer. Pran Nath had requested me for getting a suitable tenant ( for his house ) who would execute a lease agreement and who had a transferable government Job. I found Ram krishen in the house and he appeared in low spirits . He was perhaps discussing something serious with Pran Nath . Looking at me , he decided to leave and sought permission from Pran Nath .
When he left , Pran Nath turned to me and said ,
“ Don’t you know Autar Ji what has happened ?
“ What has happened ?”I said
“ This poor Ram Krishen also faces my fate now. His son Sonu left for Sweden in September . Sonu had cleared GRE with a very good rank and accordingly got admission in Masters course for two years on hundred Percent scholarship. This sudden development has totally unnerved poor Ram krishen . He was asking for Telephone Number of Arya Samaj Shastri Ji. He wants to write a will and mention Shastri ji as executor of the will . He is very serious to ensure that his FINAL SAMASKAARA is performed by Arya Samaaj Method only . ”
………Concluded
Autar Mota is a blogger and writes in English , Urdu , Kashmiri and Hindi. His write-ups have appeared in many national magazines and journals.
