Daddy , I have booked my tickets and I shall be leaving by early morning flight from Ottawa . I should be in India day after tomorrow. I have a ticket for a 2.30 PM flight from New Delhi to jammu and I am told that this is the last flight . And thereafter , From New Delhi , there are no flights to Jammu . Let me see what best can be done to reach Jammu as early as possible . Sushil Mahajan , My friend who resides at Trikuta Nagar Jammu , is coming to you . The rest , he shall talk to you in detail . I have sought his assistance till I join you . Courage Dad , You are a Great Man and I know it.”
The moment Sanjay’s call was over , Pran Nath received a call from Shanta ji’s brother in Delhi . He informed that he had already engaged a taxi and was about to Leave along with his wife. This was followed by a call from Sushil Mahajan (Sanjay’s School friend ). Sushil and his brother were on their way to Pran Nath’s house. Sushil also informed him .
“Daddy ji , You may be knowing how distant this Canada is from Jammu . Last time I had a worst experience when i went to Canada and stayed with Sanjay. So tiring a journey and then you are not sure about the arrival time of these flights . We have fifty fifty chances of Sanjay making it to Jammu day after tomorrow before 4 PM. Let us not take a risk and put all to inconvenience .As discussed in detail with sanjay , We need to keep Aunty in Mortuary for the final rites . Jammu is extremely hot and humid and then we are not sure about exact time of cremation . I am coming with the Mortuary Van and once Sanjay arrives , we shall bring the body in half an hour . Though this is very late time to open mortuary but I have already sounded the Mortuary caretaker .I believe I am clear. “
That was something Pran Nath never expected. But then he had no time to analyse merits and demerits of this decision. During the periods of such grave crisis , one tends to go by the natural flow of events . He also decided to go by Sushil Mahajan’s suggestion that looked practical and supportive at that moment.
When Ram krishen heard it , he turned serious and said ,
“Is she a stranger suddenly that she cannot be kept in this house ?That means the poor lady is to be kept in Cold storage like a vegetable or perishable commodity . This is not our Sanatan Dharma . This is not the proper way to conduct Final Samaskaara. This is not enumerated in our sacred Texts and Shastras .We kashmiri Pandits do not go by these short cuts . Who will keep her on the Grass mat in the Mortuary ? Her body needs to be kept facing particular directions ? Who shall recite Bhagwat Geeta in the Mortuary for her ? Who will keep the earthen lamp burning in the mortuary ? We can keep her on Ice slabs if we have necessarily to wait for Sanjay . You should have told Sanjay that you are performing the Final Samaskaara tomorrow and he could have joined us for the 10th day kriya . It is not proper to shift a Dead body from the house and then again bring it back . After all you are dealing with a soul that has yet to attain salvation through the Kriya Karma . “
Pran Nath heard every word that Ram krishen spoke. These words appeared reasonable to him. But he had no desire to convey his agreement or disagreement on the issue . May be he had stopped applying merits and demerits to suggestions at that moment . Whatever came first , he would have agreed . Now that he had already given his consent to Sushil Mahajan , he could not retract .
To Ram krishen he simply said ,
“ Ram krishen ji I fully agree with you. But Shanta ji was not my wife alone . She was Sanjay’s mother also. Let Sanjay decide what is best . I am here to facilitate his decision”.
“ I understand. I get it. You are right and this is not the time for all this discussion. Fine , It is your family decision. I believe there is a vehicle at the gate. Let me see. It must be the mortuary van” so saying , Ram krishen came to the main gate of the house.
Sushil Mahajan and his brother had come with the Van. Sushil Mahajan’s brother , Ram Krishen , kaanta ‘s son and Pran Nath’s brother in law carefully lifted Shanta Ji’s body and placed it inside the Metallic trolley of the Morturay van. In the stillness of that night , the Van sped towards temporary parking place of Shanta ji .
It was 12.30 now. Ramkrishen sought permission to leave and assured to come in the morning . Pran Nath also asked Kaanta and her son to take rest and requested them to come in the morning . They lived near by.He then told his sister and brother in law to take rest inside his bed room. His sister Insisted that he should have something . She opened the refrigerator and saw apples and a papaya inside .Pran Nath said ,
“Bengaashi ( His sister’s name ) , I don’t feel like eating. Do I need to seek permission? As and when I feel like eating , I shall have it myself. Please take rest . It shall be a hectic day tomorrow . I shall sleep here in the Lobby Bed “
After Bengaashi slept, for the first time in his life , Pran Nath felt something missing in the house . For the first time in his life , he felt that the house he had built with so much attention and care may prove a burden now.
“Should I sell the house and move to Canada to stay with Sanjay’s family ? Why Not ? Sanjay will be more than happy with this decision. Children too shall feel happy. May be Lakshmi may not like this decision; But then she will never express it openly . I think I should not look negatively on this issue . She has always been nice to me . No! No! I should not sell the house . That would be the most foolish decision , if, at any point of time , I decide to come back . where to go then ? The house needs to be protected as a memorial of Shanta ji and not to be sold even if I stay anywhere . And then what shall I do over there . Who knows me in Canada ? Even if Lakshmi has no problem with my presence in her family , I may feel cut off at this stage of life . Can i ask freely for my repeated Tea cups , Choice dishes and other things from Lakshmi the way I used to ask from Shanta ji ? A Women may adjust in a joint family after the death of her husband but a man can not do so after the death of his wife . I believe everyone has these issues and i can’t be an exception. O God! Why do I think of these issues at this moment . Time shall take care of every thing.
And then these New concrete houses that we build , have a brief life span. Not like our old houses where families lived and flourished for centuries. At the most, these structures provide time bound utility to the generation that builds them. This too for a part period of their lives . Thereafter these structures turn sick even if regularly put to repairs and renovation. And Once children grow and leave for their professional courses and subsequent jobs , a whiff of loneliness starts spreading on these walls and floors . The noise , laughs and prattle that children create suddenly changes into silence that rules like a dictator . But then the woman in the house keeps the kitchen fire burning which actively engages the remaining inhabitants. May be that burning fire wards off loneliness and desperation in one way or the other. Who shall ask me to bring vegetables now ?
Who shall wait for me at the dining Table ? The feasts and fasts within this house are over now . Will Kaanta resume her work in this house ?
This woman Shanta ji , from an unknown family , a total stranger , came to my life 40 years back and became a major factor for unity and strength in this household. For me she knitted a compact circle of relatives and well wishers and nurtured this field with her attention , affection and care .
Does a wife become mother finally ? I believe so .
She had been looking after me like my mother Raajrani . Cooking for me, washing my clothes , looking after me in my sickness and then standing like a rock to protect me from any Emotional onslaught.
If Sanjay has decided to come all the way from Canada , it is because of the sanskaars which his mother passed on to him. What lay there in me for him to get inspired ? I have possibly been careless to my family . Wasn’t I more bothered about my office and bosses ? O God ! How mean of me . ”
His mind was in a great whirlpool of thoughts. These thoughts kept flooding his mind . He felt restless but did not feel like smoking .
“let this flood wash me fresh . Let this tide sweep my being .I should not suppress it by smoking .” he thought this as he opened the door of the refrigerator to drink water .
He then tiptoed to his bed room to close the door that had been kept open . Bengaashi was snoring while his brother in law was in deep sleep .
“Doesn’t he get disturbed ? Does familiar noise work like soft jingle bells that could lull you to sleep ? He must have slept first and thereafter Bengaashi must have started snoring . This man is careless about this sister of mine . I am told that this snoring is medically treatable . There must be some cause for this condition . O! Why do I think on these issues at this moment ? For me , there are thousands of issues that shall surface as more critical now .
Thinking so ,he felt confused.
Outside his house , nothing but dead silence prevailed . A stray Dog bark or a distant vehicle horn tore the stillness of this unusual night for Pran Nath . It was 1 o’clock now. This was the time when Shanta ji would generally get up from her sleep to have a glass of water. She would invariably pull up the white sheet over Pran Nath’s body so as to cover it completely. Pran Nath had a bad habit of changing poses in sleep and inadvertently throwing the white sheet away from his body. She would also adjust the Fan regulator keeping it one step below the top speed at that time of the night. Some times she would say to her husband ..
“ Treish Maa Tcheiyiv ? Would you like to have water ?”
Feeling restless ,Pran Nath went inside the kitchen and saw that Shanta ji had kept two vegetable Bowls near the Microwave . She had cooked Bamatchoonth Ta Waangun (Brinjals and Quince fruit ) and Daal Nadur ( Moong Dal with Lotus stems ) . The knob of the rice cooker had come to warm position automatically after the rice got well cooked inside . He switched off the power supply and kept the vegetable bowls inside the refrigerator. He was undecided as to how he should deal with the cooked rice at that moment .
Thereafter he went to the roof top and found that the water in the overhead supply tanks was almost at bottom level.
“ We need the water in the house . Many people are likely to visit wash rooms tomorrow. I must lift it this very moment from the underground storage tank. This electric supply is also not reliable in Jammu . And then this Electric Motor is so noiseless and powerful . Just 45 Minutes more and i shall take some rest ” He said to himself.
As he stood on the roof watching the water filling the upper supply tank, he looked at the small Chinar tree that shanta ji had planted in their lawn. The tree had poor growth but looked pretty green and magnificent . Such trees may survive in alien lands but they grow and flourish in their native areas only .Shanta Ji knew this simple fact but she was fond of these Chinar trees. She had paid three hundred rupees to the gardener for this Chinar sapling. The Guava tree was full of ripe Guavas . The marigolds in the flower beds below looked sullen in moonlight .Shanta ji would be after the their Gardener for proper care and of flower beds .Though the Gardener’s salary was just 200 rupees per month , he took about 600 rupees extra every month from Shanta ji for the flower saplings , Manures and insect sprays that he got for the lawn . Every day Shanta ji would pluck three or four Marigold flowers for her morning Pooja.
“ Shall this chinar , Guava tree and these marigold flowers Go waste now ?Unlike the wild vegetation, these Garden plants grow under the care and attention of a human being only ? ”
After coming down from the roof top, Pran Nath opened the drawer of the Lobby Almirah to look for the family Album for a suitable photograph of Shanta ji. He also decided to prepare a draft of the Obituary intimation to be got published in the News paper .As he leafed through the album pages , every photograph came alive with connected event . Shanta ji as bride, Birth of sanjay , Sanjay’s Yageopavit , sanjay’s marriage , Shanta Ji Dancing in Sanjay’s Mehndiraat , Shanta Ji with sanjay’s family and So many marriages of close relations that Shanta ji had attended . This Album leafing had some relieving effect on him.
When he got up , it was 4.30 AM . Life had just woken up in Jammu . The vegetable sellers had started carrying their loads to the wholesale Mandis of the city . Horse driven Carts, Pickup Vans , Auto rickshaws were speeding through the well lit vacant roads . For him , it was a different morning. Noiseless and silent . But very shortly , the noise of the Mourners was about to crack the stillness of his house . He was restless but had to wait .
….to be continued
Autar Mota is a blogger and writes in English , Urdu , Kashmiri and Hindi. His write-ups have appeared in many national magazines and journals.
