Jaspreet Kour Bali
The Hidden Struggle
Is travelling in local transport as easy as it seems? Watching those innumerable students travel by bus, it may, from the surface, appear to be part of their daily routine to reach their respective destinations. But as I delved beneath the surface, it only seemed a silent struggle for a girl, hidden amidst the sound of the engine and the fear of judgment. Yes! A struggle veiled in silence. Every day, she fears sitting beside someone who would silently intimidate her. It may seem to be a simple sentence, but the depth it holds can haunt those who’ve really experienced it.
Stories from the Commute
I was disgusted to hear the experiences of those naive girls, but I wonder why the perpetrators do not feel the same disgust while committing such acts. Are they made to believe it makes them look “powerful” and “macho”? It is ironic that a man having children and a wife feels it is cool to molest a girl of his daughter’s age. These are the same perpetrators who do not shy away from suppressing women at their homes because they know their actus reus and mens rea in society ensure that their own family could also become a victim of it. The funniest part is that, at that time, they start seeing a perpetrator in everyone.
It is said that the world is the reflection of how we see ourselves. A good man will see good in everyone, and a bad one will reflect the same. Sometimes I feel we, as a society, have failed to provide a safe environment to a girl who travels miles to fulfill her dream of becoming a lawyer, an IAS officer, a doctor, an engineer, or a professor. If someone feels that molesting another person or supporting or suppressing it, irrespective of gender is something to be proud of, I am sorry; they have a psychological disorder that needs correction.
When I first heard the stories of those girls, I was a little shocked to see: is it the same Kashmir we call “Rish Waer” and “Peer Waer”? A place where renowned Sufi saints found their abode. Seeing the kind of moral decay being accelerated here, I wonder what they would have done to curb this.
When those girls told me about their commute, one said that every day she hopes she is not sitting next to a man, especially an adult. She further added that once she was travelling in the bus and a middle-aged man massaged her thighs under the pretense of adjusting her phiran, but before she could process what had happened, he left. Another said a man almost her father’s age tried to touch her chest with his elbows and later followed her home. A girl further added that a man, who had been talking to his wife and had a wallpaper of his daughter on his phone, tried to touch her legs and then asked for favours from her. And this is not a story of one, two, or three girls, but of every girl.
I realized this even more when we were having a discussion in class on gender issues. A girl stood up and requested all the boys of the class to sit appropriately if they were sitting next to a woman. As soon as she said this, everyone started agreeing, and I realized that this is a far more serious problem than it seems.
Society’s Moral Blindness
Is this the same Kashmir we called the safest place for a girl in the country? Once I used to be proud of belonging to such a place where women were safe and a man would lower his gaze in respect. But now, hearing all these experiences, I am in grave concern about what my paradise has turned into. If today I were silent on this, I believe I would have contributed to the countless sufferings that will happen. Being silent means being hypocritical. If someone is doing wrong and we are merely spectators, we are equally responsible for the act being done. Audre Lorde says, “Your silence will not protect you.”
Lessons from Spiritual Guides
The main problem in our society is that we justify every wrong without realizing that the person who has suffered might carry the trauma for a lifetime. No matter how much one justifies a wrong, a wrong cannot be right, and vice versa. It is said that two wrongs do not make a right. I have often heard people, even women, say to others that “he’s a man, so he will act or speak like this,” justifying it at its peak. Let me clear this delusion: if we claim to be religious and morally upright, then the ten Gurus for Sikhs, the Prophets for Muslims, Jesus for Christians, Ram for Hindus, etc., should be our role models. We often say a human should emulate the qualities of their murshid, and if they cannot acquire them, they should be ashamed of their existence not proud of their wrongdoings.
I wonder if those people would even justify a murder by saying the victim came in front of the murderer, so he was compelled to kill. In Guru Granth Sahib Ji, it is written:
“Those who are false, fraudulent, crafty, hypocritical, and always have falsehood in their mouths; who consider women impure because they go through their periods month after month, yet consider themselves pure by just washing their bodies,such people should not be considered pure. Nanak, only they are truly pure within whose minds God is realized their mind and conduct become pure and unbiased, and they do not discriminate.”
Breaking the Cycle and a Call to Conscience
I have collected my thoughts to awaken society and assess where we stand. Either you are with the right or wrong; two people cannot be right at the same time. When a judge writes a judgment, either the prosecution or the defense wins, not both. Before justifying or blindfolding your eyes to someone else’s pain, remember that life is a full circle.
Furthermore, to those girls who face this every day: if you feel any discomfort, you should be the first to oppose it, without fearing what society will say or think. You are only responsible to the Almighty and should only fear whether He would be happy with your actions. Stop falling into self-doubt. Be self-sufficient to stop the chain of perpetrators. If you do not stop him this time, whether it is happening to you or someone else, he will do the same to countless other girls, and the cycle will continue. Society will decay from its roots, and when we realize it, it may be too late.
Jaspreet Kour Bali is a Law Student, can be reached at jaspreetbali2308@gmail.com
