Among the things which a child strongly needs is the nurturing of his morals the grows up according to what his parents inculcated in him solitude, anger, obstinacy, pivolity, recklessness, irritability or good it would be so difficult for him to avoid such things in future. For sure these manners turn to be deep rooted traits and aspects that, if he does not guard against them, will cause him dishonor one day. Some might overlook the importance of moralities considering them as a minor issue, unaware of the fact that by doing so, they make it easy for their children to be ungrateful to them. Indeed, the parents duty to instill moralities in their children is as necessary as their duty of sustaining them. Islam enjoins on the parents to pay full attention to the upbringing of their children and their maintenance. They are highly responsible for building up their character. Since Childhood is a time of weakness and vulnerability of spirit, ignorance and absence of intellectual grasp, of a lack of willpower and of control by lower powers of the spirit; Childhood is especially important here owing to the view that in its pristine
state the child’s soul is pure and open to influences: its qualities are inscribed upon it just as smooth stone may be engraved. Self-training, or the absorption of influences from the surroundings through observing the deeds of others and being in their company has crucial importance for the child becoming accustomed to correct conduct at an early age. Introduced at an early age, such concepts become rooted in the consciousness of the child so that it is difficult to eradicate them subsequently. The need of parents is to exploit fully the period of childhood, when the child is under supervision, to instill in him the most essential knowledge particularly that of morality.
One of the father’s tasks is to mediate between the child and his environment and to ward off any detrimental effects. As soon as the child is born with the correct choice of wet-nurse is needed, giving extreme importance to her piety, especially her observance of the laws of purity of food, for that forbidden foods may introduce impurity into the infant’s body and affect his character. The Islamic community needs to carefully balance an openness to other cultures while protecting the right of its children to learn and grow according to the values. Bequeathing moralities to children is better than bequeathing money to them. Moralities will help them gain money, high rank love of others, and the goodness of the worldly life and the hereafter.
The theme of religious responsibility of parents for the education of their children or, more precisely, of the father for the education of his son, is supported by emphasis on the original nature of the soul, the crucial importance of the child becoming accustomed to correct conduct at an early age. A most important stage in the child’s development to which Al Ghazali draws the father’s attention, is the onset of the facility for discernment (tamyiz): this enables the child to grasp abstract ideas, including the distinction between good and evil. When the child reaches the age of tamyiz it is well not to let him neglect purification and prayer and he should be told to fast for several days in Ramadan. Admittedly, from a canonical standpoint, the child at that age, although a ‘discerner’ (mumayyiz), is not yet obliged to fulfil all the religious precepts, for a condition of this is full intellectual capacity; nevertheless, he is to be taught to perform the commandments by degrees. In the first phase, in which the child is still incapable of grasping the concepts of God, reward and punishment, and the world to come, the observance of the laws is to be presented as an obligation towards his adult guardian.
The ‘age of discernment’ is the best time to instil the basic theological concepts, for example, in the hope that they will become clear later. Introduced at an early age, such concepts become rooted in the consciousness of the child so that it is difficult to eradicate them subsequently. Al-Ghazali provides a psycho-sociological explanation for this process:
In childhood most persons acquire their faith through imitating their fathers and
teachers. This is merely blind imitation (taqlid), arising from the good opinion that they (the children) have of them (the fathers and teachers), from the praises that they (the fathers and teachers) bestow upon themselves, from the praises that others bestow upon them, from their (fathers’ and teachers’) severe condemnation of their opponents (members of other faiths) and from the accounts of the kinds of punishment meted out to those who do not cling to their religions. (For example), the tale that the soul of a certain Jew became reincarnated as a dog or that the soul of some Shfi turned into a swine. Dreams and situations (?) of this sort implant revulsion in the minds of children towards them (members of other faiths) and the tendency to their opposite to the point
of absolute elimination of all doubt from his (the child’s) heart. Learning at an early age is like engraving on a stone. Then the child grows up with what he has learnt and this never ceases to be firmly lodged in his mind. When he reaches adolescence he remains fixed in his firm belief, which cannot be assailed by any doubts. . . . (Human) nature has a predilection for a resemblance between one human being and another, this is especially so among children and adolescents
Al-Ghazali’s proposals concerning character training and the fostering of proper
conduct are usually guided by the ideal of balance; they intend to engender practices that should in due course impress good qualities on the child’s soul, especially practices counterbalancing the forces of anger and desire that hold sway over his soul.
Satisfaction with little, meekness and endurance – the qualities that stem from
balancing the forces of desire and anger must also be imparted to the child through habits of sleeping, dress and conduct in society. He should be get used to modesty, respect for others, and gentleness of speech.
When we speak of social education, we mean that children must be taught to adapt to their own social milieu, with both adults and friends of the same age. He should learn to be confident, communicative and able to solve problems effectively without being introverted. Also, he should learn how to give and take politely, to buy and sell and to mix with various kinds of people. As we reflect on the Prophetic Hadiths, we find that Prophet (peace be upon him) concentrated upon eight principles. They are as follows:
THE FIRST PRINCIPLE: Allowing the child to attend meeting where older people discuss various issues.
THE SECOND PRINCIPLE: Assigning the child to fulfill some duties and errands.
THE THIRD PRINCIPLE: Teaching the child to uphold and practice the sunnah of greeting muslims.
THE FOURTH PRINCIPLE: Visiting the child when he is ill.
THE FIFTH PRINCIPLE: Helping the child to choose suitable friends from among his playmates.
THE SIXTH PRINCIPLE: Permitting the child to attend Islamic parties and weddings.
THE SEVENTH PRINCIPLE: Getting the child used to buying and selling.
THE EIGHT PRINCIPLE: Allowing the child to spend a night at the home of some righteous relatives.
Anas Ibn Malik said, “I served the Prophet for ten years, and he never said to me “Pshaq!” and never blamed me by saying, “Why did you do so or Why did you not do so?” This indicates, if anything, the Prophet’s (peace be upon him) great interest in implanting sound morals in children through practical examples. Providing children with good examples instills morality in them so that they can cope with materialistic challenges in their society. Being morally well built, they firmly cling to the Islamic principles against the pressures practiced by the disintegrated society of the present time.
May Allah guide us to good morals, patience, leniency and tolerance, as He is the Ever-Hearing and the Ever-Answering.
Muhammad faisal is a social science graduate , can be reached at 92mfaisal@gmail.com
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