At present approximately 10 (Ten) crores people are above the age of 60 in the country and by the year ended 2025 nearly 8 (eight) crores more will be added to this population bracket. With improved life expectancy rate it is estimated that as many as 80 (eighty) lakh people are currently above the age of 80 years. Changing family value system, economic compulsions of the children, neglect and abuse has caused elders to fall through the net of family care. The elderly people who are alone face health problems, depression and loneliness.The rapid urbanization has overtaken the traditional value system of our people and shifted their socio-economic priorities. Sons and daughters and their children find no time for the senior citizens in their family. The elderly who have provided their services and support to the society feel unloved and neglected at this phase of their lives.The concept of old age home arise when the old aged persons in a family are not cared for at home. Many children argue that their financial conditions do not favuor their looking after parents who impose a huge burden upon them.These words bear no reason as parents did not throw them away when they might have faced financial constraints.
Children’s are always taught to respect the parents. It is the duty of the children to take care of parents in their old age.Aged people are becoming more and more isolated and youngsters have less and less patience in handling them or adjusting with them. It seems that privatization and globalization has filled our pockets but emptied our ethics. It has made us so techno philic that we like the touch of our keypad more than our mother. It really wrenches our heart to think about such suffering that the aged have to undergo. We live in families unlike other animals who go separate ways from their parents after they grow up. In this social setup we often come across individuals who care nothing for family or relationships. For them their wants and needs have to be satisfied by any means.
While talking with an Old aged man living in Old Age home.
“Now I live my life in a better way than I had been living for last three years.It was like a hell. Every day I received humiliation by none other than our own blood. It was heart wrenching to see that children for whom you have sacrificed your life and done everything possible, turn away their faces when you just expect to see them around you…”, tears rolled down his eyes and then this old man came back to his spirit and enthusiasm. Wiping his tears, he said, “But now see I enjoy here, we play, work, eat and celebrate together. Now food is not thrown at my face but served properly, now festivals feel like festivals, not the regular Mahabharata that went on at home especially during festivals.”, tears rolled down my eyes too when I saw this 80 year old man telling me his story, trying to reinforce, “I am happy”.
Perhaps living in the old age home makes the old more independent and is way better than getting caught within the shackles which do not allow you to do anything with your life. Every individual has the right to healthy aging which does not only come about medically but also via social relationships and gratification. When this eludes elderly in their own houses old age homes come to rescue and in most cases bear positive results. In addition to above there are number of examples where parents are living alone at their own home which is not less than Old Age Home for them. My neighbor is living in his own home like old age home when his wife died in unfortunate accident. The lone son left the father after getting employed& married. The three daughters are married at three different areas and they are busy at their respective in-laws.
Boarding Schools
When a child is spending all of his or her time at school, this can result in extreme periods of stress for children. A personal life away from school is also difficult to maintain due to the high expectations of academic excellence in a typical boarding school. It can be difficult for a student to adjust to boarding school because he or she has been placed in completely new surroundings with unfamiliar people and circumstances. Time spent with family and friends from home becomes limited. Also, extracurricular activities provided by the school often occupy a student’s time after classes and on the weekends. When your child goes to boarding school there will be some ramifications on your home environment. It may be difficult for your child to adjust to being at home during the holidays. During the term time you will not be seeing your child as much as you would if they lived at home with you and this will affect your relationship with your child.
Boarding school is not the perfect solution for a child. Before enrolling your child in a boarding school make sure that you have exhausted all other options and ensure that your reasons for boarding will outweigh the potential negative pitfalls. It is not feasible to admit those children in boarding schools who have gone through traumatic experiences such as family illness, divorce and depression. Fleeing the nest and living away from home can be a big challenge for a student. Unfortunately, computer and Internet access including cell phones have increased the number of ways families stay in touch. Losing touch with family is generally the hardest adjustment for boarding school students along with their lack of privacy and freedom.Children are the responsibility of the parents and a big gap is created when children are separated by parents. This detachment leads to the children taking the parents to old age homes when they get good salary. The parents also get the same treatment as they did to their children.
Conclusion
It is important that adults made responsible for taking care of their aged parents because the parents have also taken care of their children during childhood. Therefore it is natural that the children should also be made responsible to look after their parents when they grow old. Making legal this responsibility is also necessary because these days there are a number of children who simply abandon their parents and do not take care of their parents when they grow old. If a law is passed according to which the children are legally required to look after their parents, in such a case, the government will also undertake other measures that are required to support this law and help the people in following the law. For example if the children are too poor to take care of their aged parents or in case the children are not comfortable to leave their parents at home alone or believe that the aged parents are a burden, in such a case, policies and other measures will be adopted by the government which can help the aged parents and also to help the children facing these problems.
Similarly, children are a trust given to the parents. Parents will be held accountable for this trust on the Day of Judgment. Parents are essentially responsible for the moral, ethical and the basic essential religious teachings of their children. The children will become better citizens and a pleasure to the eyes of their parents. Indeed the mother’s role may be even greater. While the children are young they are very close to her and dependent upon her and they spend more time with her than with anyone else. There is an Arabic saying: “The mother is the first school”. Every mother should be conscious of her role and do her best to make it beneficial for the development of her children as they set out on the journey of life. Parental care and guidance are fundamental to child upbringing. Some parents nowadays become so preoccupied with their jobs or with making money or with their social lives that children are often neglected. They may be ignored or left for hours with the television or computer or they may be sent to day-care centers at a very early age to be cared for in groups by other people.
The adults in a family need to introspect themselves and take responsibilities cheerfully of those who are in old age and simultaneously take care of their wards. The young ones in a family are the duty bound to look all the affairs of the family which will prove fruitful for them in this world and thereafter.
Shabir Ahmad Shah is executive in Financial Institution & writes on Socio-Economic Issues.
