Dr.Fiaz Maqbool Fazili
Every society aspires to call itself “civilised.” It is a word we use with pride, a label that gives us dignity, a badge that separates progress from chaos, order from confusion, culture from decline. But civilization is not built by declarations or slogans. It is shaped by behaviour, reforged daily through our choices, and sustained by the values we practice—especially when no one is watching. A society becomes civilised not when its infrastructure grows, but when its people grow in responsibility, respect, reason, and reform. These Four Rs form the foundation of any genuinely civilised society. The uncomfortable question now is: Are we, the people of the Valley, truly living these values?
We often say we are a society of culture, tradition, education, and spiritual refinement. Yet our everyday behaviour paints a very different, sometimes disturbing picture. Roads choked by reckless driving, public spaces treated as personal dumping grounds, disputes settled through aggression instead of dialogue, professionals showing entitlement instead of ethics, and institutions paralysed by ego and mismanagement—all of this forces us to confront a painful truth: somewhere, our claim of being “civilised” has become more rhetorical than real.
The first R is responsibility. Civilisation begins with the simple idea that every individual is accountable for their actions, not only when consequences exist but also when no one is looking. Responsibility is what makes a person slow down near a school, think twice before littering, respect workplace commitments, honour time, and put community welfare above personal shortcuts. And yet, irresponsibility has become a casual habit in our Valley. Drivers jump lanes without hesitation, public officials treat service as favour, citizens ignore rules because they assume rules are for others. Our roads, hospitals, parks, neighbourhoods, even our conversations, reflect a collective decline in responsibility. Everyone demands accountability from others, but few practice it themselves. Without individual responsibility, a society decays from within, no matter how sophisticated it appears from outside.
The second R is respect. A civilised society is not defined merely by its buildings or institutions but by how people treat each other. Respect is the glue that holds social harmony together. It means valuing differences, listening without dismissing, offering courtesy regardless of status, and treating public spaces as shared spaces. Sadly, our sense of respect is becoming increasingly selective. We respect those we fear, not those who deserve. We respect those with power, not those with virtue. Instead of courteous dialogue, we often choose aggression; instead of patience, we choose hostility. Our doctors face verbal abuse, our teachers face indifference, our elders are losing authority, and our institutions face mistrust—not always without reason, but often without reflection. Respect cannot be demanded; it must be earned and practiced. A society that loses respect loses its soul.
The third R is reason. Civilised societies operate through logic, knowledge, and thoughtful decision-making. They rely on rationality, not impulse; on evidence, not rumours; on critical thinking, not emotional hysteria. In our Valley, reason is repeatedly overshadowed by reaction. We rush to conclusions before understanding facts, judge situations without context, and amplify unverified narratives on social media that can destroy reputations and create chaos. Reason requires patience, and patience is disappearing fast. Policy failures, governance gaps, institutional shortcomings—these too often stem from decisions made without proper analysis, planning, or long-term vision. A society that stops reasoning becomes vulnerable to manipulation, unable to chart its future. The absence of reason is evident not only in our public discourse but also in our institutions, where decisions are often made for convenience rather than correctness.
The fourth R is reform. Civilised societies do not stagnate; they evolve. They reflect, correct, and grow. Reform is the courage to admit mistakes, the willingness to change broken systems, and the commitment to improve what affects everyone. Yet, reform remains our weakest link. We complain about problems but rarely take ownership to fix them. We treat civic issues as someone else’s responsibility. From waste management to traffic discipline, from public health to educational standards, from governance to community attitudes—reform requires both structural change and personal transformation. But the fear of discomfort holds us back. We wait for authorities to act while ignoring the power of small, personal reforms that collectively change societies. Reform is a daily discipline, not a government programme. Without reform, we remain stuck in cycles of decay, repeating the same mistakes while expecting different outcomes.
So, are we the civilised society we aspire to be? The answer is uncomfortable. We have immense potential, deep cultural wisdom, and a rich history of hospitality, intellect, and spirituality. But potential means nothing without practice. Our valley cannot claim civilization while struggling with basic civic sense, ethical responsibility, and collective discipline. Civilisation is not measured by how educated we are, but by how we behave. It is not reflected in the number of degrees we hold but in the character we display. It is not seen in how loudly we demand rights but in how responsibly we fulfill duties.
If we continue to neglect the Four Rs, we risk drifting deeper into social disorder, fragmentation, and institutional collapse. Responsibility, respect, reason, and reform are not optional virtues—they are essential pillars that determine whether a society rises or falls. Valleyites must introspect collectively and individually. We must redefine what it means to be civilised—not through words, but through actions. We must stop blaming and start behaving. We must stop demanding and start contributing. We must stop waiting and start acting. Civilisation begins at home, in streets, in workplaces, in institutions, in conversations, in values we pass to our children.
The dream of a civilised society is not beyond our reach. It is within us—waiting to be awakened. But dreams become reality only when people decide to live them. Responsibility must replace carelessness. Respect must replace hostility. Reason must replace impulse. Reform must replace stagnation.
Only then can we truly say—with honesty and pride—that the Valley is not only beautiful in landscape but also civilised in character. Only then will our society reflect the maturity, dignity, and harmony we so often speak of but rarely practice. The Four Rs are not a theory; they are a mirror. And it is time we looked into it.
The author is a is a Senior Op-ed Columnist, healthcare advocate,can be reached at drfiazfazili@gmail.com
