Dr. Rizwan Rumi
Daughters are the unsung heroes of countless families. Despite being a blessing in every sense of the word, their worth often goes unacknowledged. In many cultures, including ours, the birth of a daughter is still met with muted celebrations compared to the euphoric rejoicing that often accompanies the birth of a son. This disparity stems from deep-seated patriarchal norms that undervalue women’s roles in society and the family.
The Initial Bias: A Daughter’s Silent Battle Begins Early
From the moment a daughter is born, her journey is shaped by societal expectations. Parents, bound by traditional norms, often see having “one daughter” as enough. Sons, on the other hand, are cherished in unlimited numbers as carriers of lineage and family name. This mindset deprives daughters of the equality and warmth they deserve from the very beginning.
While sons are given the freedom to dream without limits, daughters grow up under constant scrutiny. Society dictates their actions, behavior and choices, often stifling their individuality. Education, career aspirations and even basic freedoms are sometimes granted conditionally, based on how they align with family honor.
The Great Sacrifice: Leaving Her World Behind.
A daughter’s most profound challenge begins the day she steps into her marital home. Marriage is often portrayed as the ultimate goal of her life, and she is expected to embrace a new house, new relationships and sometimes even a new identity with grace and without complaint.
Unlike sons, who typically remain rooted in their parental homes and families, daughters are asked to sever ties with their childhood world. They leave behind parents, siblings, friends and the comforting familiarity of their home. They enter uncharted territory, where they must navigate complex relationships with in-laws and sometimes even battle for acceptance.
While some are fortunate enough to find loving and understanding partners, many are not. For those who face neglect, pain, or even abuse, the struggle becomes unbearable. Yet, society silences their cries for help with phrases like “adjust,” “compromise,” or “this is how marriage works.” Parents, fearing societal judgment, may discourage their daughters from returning home, leaving them trapped in a cycle of suffering.
The Emotional Toll: Hiding Pain Behind Forced Smiles
The emotional burden on daughters is immense. They are often expected to mask their trauma and carry on as if nothing is wrong. Behind their smiles lie countless sleepless nights, silent tears and a constant battle to keep going. Many daughters, out of love and respect for their families, choose not to share their struggles, fearing they might bring dishonor or pain to their loved ones.
This forced resilience comes at a cost. The mental health of women in such situations often deteriorates, leading to anxiety, depression and a feeling of isolation. Yet, the taboo around seeking help for mental health issues further compounds their challenges, leaving them to suffer in silence.
The Role of Society: Why Do We Fail Our Daughters?
The question arises: why do we, as a society, place the burden of sacrifice solely on daughters? Why do we ask them to prioritize family pride over their peace and happiness? This mindset is deeply rooted in outdated traditions that prioritize appearances over the well-being of individuals.
From religious teachings to cultural practices, many narratives glorify the sacrifices of women, often portraying them as martyrs for their families. While resilience and strength are admirable traits, they should not come at the cost of a daughter’s dignity and happiness.
Changing the Narrative
To bring about change, we need to start at home.
Celebrate Her Birth : The arrival of a daughter should be celebrated with the same enthusiasm as a son. Parents must recognize that daughters are not only equal to sons but are also the light and strength of a family.
Empower Her Dreams :Daughters should be encouraged to dream big and pursue their aspirations without fear of judgment. Education, career opportunities, and personal growth should never be compromised for societal expectations.
Respect Her Choices : From her career to her choice of a life partner, a daughter’s decisions should be respected. She must be given the agency to shape her own life.
Support Her in Marriage :Marriage should not be seen as the ultimate goal of a daughter’s life. It is a partnership, not a transfer of responsibility. Families must stand by their daughters, ensuring that they feel supported and loved, regardless of their marital status.
End the Stigma Around Divorce : If a daughter finds herself in an abusive or unhappy marriage, her decision to leave should not be met with shame or judgment. Divorce is not a failure; staying in an unhealthy relationship is.
Promote Mental Health Awareness : Parents, educators and communities must create an environment where daughters feel safe discussing their mental health. Access to counseling and support services should be normalized.
To Men: Be Her Ally
Men—fathers, brothers, husbands and sons—play a crucial role in a daughter’s life. They must listen to her, respect her emotions, and stand by her side in words and actions. A daughter’s voice should never be silenced and her sacrifices should never go unnoticed.
A Daughter’s Worth: Beyond Measure
A daughter is not a burden or a liability. She is the strength of a family, the nurturer of relationships, and the soul of humanity. Her presence brings light, her sacrifices bring balance and her love brings warmth. It is time we honor her, celebrate her, and stand up for her—not just in words but through meaningful actions.
The journey of a daughter is one of love, sacrifice, and resilience. But it doesn’t have to be a lonely battle. By challenging societal norms and fostering a culture of respect and equality, we can create a world where daughters are cherished for who they are, not what they are expected to be.
Let us remember:
Empowering a daughter means empowering a family, a community and ultimately, the entire world. It’s time we give our daughters the love, respect and support they deserve—because they are the heart of humanity.
The writer is a columnist based in Srinagar