The recent Budgam incident has shaken the Valley. But the question is bigger — are we raising a generation that has lost its moral compass?
Last week, Budgam woke up to headlines no parent wants to read. A minor girl, assaulted by boys barely older than her. The accused were not hardened criminals from outside. They were from the same lanes, same schools, same homes. Kashmir has seen conflict for decades. But this was a different kind of violence — the kind that happens when ethics collapse inside our own courtyards.
This case is not an exception anymore. Police data from J&K shows a 62% rise in juvenile crime between 2020 and 2025. Of this, crimes against minors by minors have doubled. The question haunting every mohalla now is simple: What is happening to our boys?
The Silence Between Homes and Phones
The internet came to Kashmir with a promise — education, opportunity, connection. But with no digital literacy, it also brought unfiltered access to violent pornography, misogynistic reels, and Telegram groups where “dares” become crimes.
A school teacher from Chadoora, who asked not to be named, said, “Earlier a boy would be scared if the Imam saw him smoking. Today he makes a reel of it. We have lost the fear of shame. We have lost haya.”
The Budgam case, according to police sources, began with a WhatsApp group. A “challenge” was thrown. The line between screen and street vanished.
The Broken Pillars: Family, School, Society
Family — The Vanishing Dastarkhan: In 2005, an average Kashmiri family ate together twice a day. Today, a survey by Kashmir University shows 73% of teenagers eat alone, with a phone. The dastarkhan where elders taught right from wrong is now silent. Fathers work outside. Mothers are on YouTube. Children are on Instagram. No one is talking about consent, respect, or insaaniyat.
School — Marks Over Manners: Our education system rewards 99% in math but has zero marks for empathy. Moral Science is a 20-mark subject taught for passing, not for living. A principal from Budgam said, “We expelled a boy for bullying. His father came and said, ‘Sir, isko engineer banana hai, ye sab chalta hai’. When parents defend wrong, schools become helpless.”
Society — From Community Policing to Community Silence: There was a time when if a boy misbehaved, ten neighbours would correct him. Today if you tell someone’s son to stop eve-teasing, his family files an FIR against you. We have moved from biradari to “don’t interfere”. The Budgam accused were known troublemakers in the area. Everyone knew. No one spoke.
The Drug Angle Nobody Wants to Discuss
SSP Budgam in a recent press conference admitted that 4 out of 7 juvenile accused in POCSO cases this year tested positive for substance use. Gard, codeine, and now cheap synthetic drugs have entered school bags. A recovering 17-year-old from Beerwah told us, “First we take it for fun. Then we need money for it. Then we do anything for money. Then we don’t care what we do.”
Dr. Arshad Hussain, psychiatrist at SMHS, explains: “Drugs don’t create criminals. But they kill the part of the brain that says ‘stop’. When ethics are already weak, drugs make you act on every dark impulse.”
Where Are Our Girls in This Story?
While we discuss boys, the girls of Kashmir are learning a different lesson — fear. A Class 11 student from Magam said, “After Budgam case, my father took my phone. He said ‘better safe than sorry’. So the victim is locked up, not the mindset.”
Enrollments in girls’ tuition centers have dropped 18% in Budgam district since the case. Parents are choosing safety over education. This is the real cost of ethical collapse — half the Valley stops dreaming.
But There Is Another Kashmir Too
This is not the full story. For every boy who lost his way, there are ten who are coaching younger kids for free, running blood donation drives, building apps in Srinagar’s co-working spaces.
In the same Budgam, a group called “Team Insaaniyat” — all 19 to 22 years old — now goes school to school holding sessions on consent, cyber law, and mental health. “We were angry after the case. But anger doesn’t change anything. Action does,” says founder Ubaid, 21.
Religious leaders are also stepping up. The Imam of Jamia Masjid Beerwah now dedicates 5 minutes of every Friday khutba to parenting and digital ethics. “Paradise lies under the feet of mothers. But hell can come from the hands of sons we don’t raise right,” he said last Friday.
The Way Forward: Rebuilding the Compass
Outrage is easy. Solutions are hard. But they exist:
- Digital Haya Classes: Like Kerala’s “Safe Internet” program, J&K needs mandatory digital ethics in Class 6-10. Not just “don’t click bad links” but “why respecting a woman online is same as offline”.
- Parenting by Law: The Juvenile Justice Act holds parents accountable if negligence is proven. It’s time to use it. Your 14-year-old has a smartphone at 1 am? That’s your responsibility too.
- Bring Back Community: Mohalla committees need to be revived. Not for politics, but for parenting. If 5 fathers together decide to patrol the park at 7 pm, boys will think twice.
- Mental Health, Not Just Punishment: Jail will not fix a 16-year-old. Kashmir needs 10x more juvenile counsellors. Every district hospital should have a child psychology unit. Trauma creates trauma.
The Last Word
The Budgam girl is in a shelter home now. She will get justice — the law is clear. But justice after the crime is too late.
Kashmir’s conflict was always said to be “political”. But this is a conflict of values. And no army, no politician can fight it. It will be won or lost in our living rooms, in our WhatsApp groups, in the 5 minutes a father spends talking to his son instead of scrolling.
An elder in Budgam said, “We used to say Kashmir Jannat hai. Jannat is where children are safe. If our children are not safe from our own children, then what are we?”
The case file will close. But the question will remain open in every home: What are we teaching our boys when we are not teaching them anything?
