We all aim for perfection, we want to be the best version of ourselves, no one can play our role better than us, no two people are same when it comes to their mental set up and thought process, and people differ in their perceptions, values and attitudes. This difference somehow makes the society little bit interesting, imagine a society flooded with only bookworms, or a society full of adventurous lot, there will be nothing special about it, in order to be interesting, things have to be different and each component has its own beauty. Author Veronica Roth writes in her book Divergent, what makes you different makes you dangerous! Our story is about a woman who was totally different from rest of the lot.
Zofeen was the only child of her parents, from a very early age, she lived in her own thoughts and dreams, and she had a very different take on life, for her life was a challenge which has to be overcome with sheer hard work.
She had a troubled childhood though; she found it very hard to adjust with people and live up to their standards. She found it extremely hard to strike conversations with people which often made her live a quiet and lonely life, as she grew problems started to bloom further, some days she found it extremely hard to live life normally, other days she was in full blown mania and nothing could stop her from being on top of the world. Her parents had an idea that there was something disturbing about her personality, they tried to consult various doctors but nothing changed, she kept on oscillating between hallucinations and reality. After a rigorous study her father finally decided to consult a neuro-psychiatrist. When she was examined, her parents went in deep shock to learn that she was a patient of Paranoid Schizophrenia.
Her world collapsed, her faith was in shambles, her persona had been given altogether a different name schizophrenic! Thoughts of future started troubling her; she could never lead a normal life and could never have a happy marriage or no marriage at all. She finally managed to find a suitable guy who claimed to love her and tied the nuptial knot with him. Both of them knew this was not going to be easy but Zameer assured her he would never leave her.
First few months of marriage were quiet normal where the duo smoothly sorted their life problems and tried to overcome the negative impacts. But soon, problems started to erupt, Zameer started to exhaust due to the repeated attacks and weird behavior of Zofeen, she tried her best to be normal, but it was all in the wiringof her brain, she had no control over it. There were times, when she turned violent and hit Zameer but later repented on her actions. Fed up with her routine life Zameer sent her to a mental asylum, she was not insane, just a little bit different from rest. She was completely normal but for her hallucinations, what hurt her most was Zameer giving up on her and sending her to asylum instead of caring and loving her when he had promised to do so. Soon Zameer married one of his colleagues and stopped contacting Zofeen, she came to know about his marriage and this time it appeared someone had plucked her heart and left a cold dark place instead! She tried to make repeated calls to Zameer, not once did he respond. Zofeen had warned her before their marriage that she was not a easy woman to live with, but Zameer was too swayed by her charm that he forgot to take note of the consequences there off.
He failed as a husband and worsened the mental condition of Zofeen. Zofeen found herself crying silent tears between the walls of asylum and Zameer lived a normal life. Now a patient of dementia, Zofeen has lost her memory, the only thing she recognizes is the ring given to her by Zameer as a wedding gift!
P.S: Most of the marriages between a mentally ill wife and fit husband end in fiasco. The husband, unable to bear the panic attacks of his wife finally leaves her and looks for some better options. It is important to discuss mental health issues before entering into a marriage contract as it heavily tells upon the lives of people, most of the diseases are even genetic and should be discussed with neuropsychiatrists in anticipation of marriage.
Excerpts from Book TEARFUL PAGES authored by Azra Mufti, a freelance columnist having written more than 100 articles for various domestic and national dailies, currently working as an assistant professor in CGC Landran Mohali.
