The Story I Didn’t Want to Tell
Hateful & Hurtful Speech: Why Can’t We Either Say Good or Keep Silent?Doesn’t Light Come After Darkness?
We all sin. We all need mercy.
We all remain works in progress.
Dr. Fiaz Maqbool Fazili.
There are stories one would rather not tell—not because they are unimportant, but because speaking about them can invite the very ridicule, suspicion and personal judgment one wishes to challenge. Yet silence can sometimes allow an unhealthy habit to go unquestioned.The proverb “Sau chuhe kha kar billi Hajj ko chali” is commonly used to mock someone whose past appears inconsistent with a present claim to virtue. I have always disliked its casual use, particularly when directed at someone who may be attempting to change, repent or return towards Allah. The question is simple: When did a person’s past become a licence—especially for a Muslim, indeed for any human being—to ridicule their present?
We are entitled to opinions. We can question public statements, disagree with religious or non-religious interpretations and scrutinise institutional decisions. But there is a moral boundary between criticism and humiliation.Address the argument; do not attack the biography. A person’s past may be known to us, but their heart is not. Only Allah knows sincerity. To declare someone’s repentance false merely because their earlier life was different is to make a judgment about something beyond our knowledge.
The Story I Didn’t Want to Recall; I do not write this as someone who has lived a spotless life. In my teenage years, I too have experienced youthful mistakes, darker phases and choices I would rather leave in the past. Had confession before people been part of my faith, I might have shared them openly; but in my faith, confession is reserved for the Creator, not for creation. Some things are meant to be acknowledged before Allah, sought forgiveness for, and left behind—not displayed before the world. I would not necessarily want past to be displayed before the world. That is precisely why I find it disturbing when someone’s past is repeatedly resurrected to discredit their present. Years ago, I posted a simple reminder from the Qur’an and Hadith. Instead of responding to the message, someone uploaded an old photograph of me from my younger days at the Delhi Youth Club festival, listening to Western music. The photograph was genuine. The memory was genuine. I have nothing to deny about having been young and having passed through different phases of life. But what did the photograph prove? It did not answer the Qur’an or Hadith I had shared. It did not challenge the argument. It merely implied: “Who are you to speak? Look at your past.” That experience taught me something important: a photograph from yesterday cannot automatically invalidate a sincere reminder today. If change is possible, yesterday cannot be allowed to become a permanent prison.
When Transformation Becomes a Target; This is not about any particular person., It is about a recurring human tendency. People who begin changing their lives, beliefs or behaviour can become targets of sarcasm precisely because their past is known. A person who once lived differently may be mocked for adopting a more religious or disciplined life. Someone who openly acknowledges past mistakes may be accused of hypocrisy rather than encouraged in reform.But we do not know what is happening inside another person’s heart.
Some mistakes become public; others remain known only to us and Allah. Some people change openly; others repent quietly. The difference is often not in whether we have faults, but in whether those faults became visible. That should make us humble. We may disagree with what a person says or does, but disagreement should address the argument—not become an excuse to ridicule their past, appearance, photographs or former choices. Criticise ideas, when necessary, but do not weaponize a person’s history.
Light Comes After Darkness; Isn’t it true that light comes after darkness? We all sin. Some mistakes are public; others remain known only to us and Allah. Some people change publicly; others repent privately. Faith Islam does not close the door of return because someone has a complicated past. Allah declares in the Quran: “Do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins.” Regarding those who repent, believe and do righteous deeds, the Qur’an says that Allah can “replace their evil deeds with good.” If Allah, the Merciful, leaves the door of repentance open, who are we to stand at that door and tell someone they cannot enter? A person may genuinely change. They may still struggle, make mistakes, hesitate or begin again. None of that gives us permission to mock the effort.
The real question is not, “What were you yesterday?” It is, “Where are you trying to go today?” Transformation rarely happens in a straight line. It can involve setbacks and renewed effort. A person attempting reform may need encouragement more than suspicion. If every attempt at change is greeted with sarcasm, people may learn to hide their struggles rather than confront them. We should therefore distinguish between accountability and humiliation. Accountability seeks improvement; humiliation seeks to diminish. One can correct behaviour while preserving dignity. One can disagree firmly without making repentance a spectacle.
The sins of the tongue are often underestimated in daily life and behaviour. The Prophet Muhammad saw taught: “Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him speak good or remain silent. “The principle applies equally to speech from a pulpit, across a table or through a social-media keyboard. A sarcastic remark may appear harmless. A humiliating photograph may produce laughter. A provocative comment may collect likes. But words have consequences. The Qur’an reminds us: “He does not utter a word except that with him is an observer prepared.” Before pressing post, perhaps we should ask: Is it true? Is it necessary? Is it beneficial? Would I be comfortable answering for it before Allah? The Prophet (saw)also warned that a person may utter a word without considering its consequences and, because of it, fall into the Fire. The lesson is not that disagreement is forbidden. It is that speech carries responsibility. Social media has made this responsibility even more important. Distance creates an illusion of consequence-free speech. We do not see the face of the person reading our words and may never know whether a comment caused embarrassment, discouragement or pain. Yet the absence of visible consequences does not mean the absence of consequences.
Criticism Is Not Cruelty; This is not a demand that public figures or institutions become immune from criticism. They should not. Repentance does not make anyone infallible. A religious claim can be questioned. An interpretation can be challenged. An institutional decision can be examined. Accountability is not hostility. But criticism addresses conduct, evidence or ideas. Ridicule attacks dignity. Criticism says, “I believe this is wrong, and here is why.” Mockery says, “Look who’s talking.” One invites dialogue; the other attempts to silence.There is also a legitimate place for questions about institutions entrusted with community or religious responsibilities. Their programmes, priorities and methods may be discussed respectfully. If religion is invoked, people may reasonably ask whether education, character, creativity, moral development and meaningful participation are being adequately served. Such questions need not become political or personal. Dialogue should come with civility before denunciation.
No Name, No Blame, No Shame! The victim behind the headlines can be anyone. Leave personalities out of debate, their earlier life, the dress, roles and the public statements become subjects of intense discussion. Later, when an individual publicly moves away from that past and speaks openly about the faith and religious convictions. And that is precisely the point, I have no interest in turning this argument, who is right or wrong? or to turn this piece into a defence of or attack on any particular person, institution or public figure. The principle is larger than personalities. If we disagree with a statement, answer the statement. If we question a decision, explain the concern. If we believe someone is mistaken, offer knowledge and evidence. But let us not weaponize youthful photographs, former lifestyles, old mistakes or embarrassing memories merely to win an argument. When religion enters public discussion, it becomes dangerously easy to assume that those who disagree with us must be insincere. That is another form of judgment we should resist. We can disagree without declaring another person’s heart corrupt.
The moot Question I’ m asking for introspection, and self-audit; Are We Judging the Road to Paradise? When someone appears to be moving towards “Sirat al-Mustaqeem”—the straight path—or offering” Qawlan Sadeedan”—sound and truthful counsel—why should we pull them back into the darkness of their past?If a person is genuinely trying to reform(tawbah nasooha ), should we help them forward or repeatedly remind them who they used to be? Perhaps the person we ridicule for yesterday is the person Allah has chosen for a better tomorrow. Perhaps their repentance is sincere. Perhaps their struggle is greater than we know. Perhaps they will fall again and rise again. And perhaps so will we. None of us knows whose final chapter will be written in the best way.
Before We Speak, pause on the Insight and Pick up; The Qur’an and Hadith do not ask us to surrender reason, abandon accountability or remain silent in the face of genuine wrong. They ask us to exercise restraint, justice and dignity. So let us be curious, but not cruel. Let us question but not humiliate. Let us correct but not condemn. Let us hold institutions accountable without turning every disagreement into a personal battle. Let us also resist the temptation to measure another person’s faith by appearances alone. Religious growth is deeply personal. It cannot always be understood from a photograph, a statement, a dress, a public appearance or a single mistake. Repentance is not hypocrisy merely because someone once lived differently. Before exposing another person’s past, perhaps we should look into our own “girebaan- attire”. There may be things there that only Allah knows what we reveal and what we conceal . The real test of faith may not be how effectively we expose another person’s mistakes, but how carefully we guard our own tongue. We should strive to be a reason for someone’s return, not a reason for their despair.
Light comes after darkness. We all sin. We all need mercy. We all remain works in progress. Perhaps the most constructive response to another person’s transformation is neither blind praise nor cynical suspicion, but respectful observation, sincere counsel and the humility to admit: “I do not know what is in another person’s heart.”If correction is needed, correct with wisdom. If accountability is necessary, pursue it fairly. If disagreement is unavoidable, keep it dignified. And when the subject is repentance, remember that the final judgment belongs to Allah.We should not turn someone’s attempt to leave darkness into another opportunity to push them back into it.Say good. Advise with mercy. Disagree with dignity. And when there is nothing beneficial to say—remain silent.
Author is a medico and holds a Diploma in Islamic Studies. He often writes on social reform, ethical conduct and the management of positive perceptions.
The Author is a medical doctor who is also actively engaged in promoting positive awareness and understanding of various ethical and social issues. can be contacted at drfiazfazili@gmail.com and on Twitter/X at @drfiazfazili.
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