By Shabnum Shafi
Is it a crime to be a girl? Why is a girl never free? Why is she never free to think about herself or to even think at all? A girl becomes guilty in everyone’s eyes even before she starts to think about herself. She is never allowed to raise her voice. Like a caged bird, she is never given permission to fly high even when she desires to do so. Not that her parents control her but the whole society puts her under restrictions. Let’s not go far, let us take an example of our own Srinagar, where recently a tourist and a travel blogger Irana Parkoria from Amsterdam was harassed by a group of boys at Dalgate only because she was a girl. It’s not just here but everywhere. Whenever girls from any area go on to pursue higher studies in other states, they become victims of brutal crimes like sexual harassment, verbal abuse and even acid attacks. That’s what it is like to be a girl in this society.
I am not supporting any particular religion or person, I just want to raise a voice for those who are voiceless, those who are suppressed by the fabricated norms of society. There are weird rules for girls. One day you’d be asked to wear a hijab and cover yourself properly and the next day the same society will judge you for wearing the hijab saying that you might have wrong intentions even for wearing it like they’ll say, “she is just covering herself so that she can do bad things without being noticed”. When a girl starts wearing jeans, the same society will talk behind her back saying, “ she is mannerless, her clothing is awkward, she might be from a bad family background”.
I’ll talk about my personal experience. Recently I was talking to one of my friends on the phone while walking on the road. Suddenly, a guy came from nowhere and touched my hand. I was completely shocked for some time. I looked back and stared at the guy while he disappeared into the crowd. The friend on call kept asking me, “what’s wrong, why are you silent” and I just couldn’t utter a single word. I am bold and confident enough, I could have just stopped that guy and slapped him and asked him how he dared doing something like that but I didn’t. Only because I knew, the people in the market won’t believe my side of the story. They’ll draw conclusions that I might be having some personal issues with that guy or it might be some relationship issues. That’s why I just tolerated it and went back home. These are the little things that girls suffer from that people don’t even take notice of.
I sometimes wonder, if our society was a bit supportive, if they were kind enough to understand our problems, maybe we wouldn’t have to suffer in silence. They never teach us to fight back against injustice. If at that time, I was sure that I got the back of society, I would have just taught that guy a lesson. Unfortunately, it’s just a dream that can never come true. We are always told to tolerate and move on and no one expects us to speak up for ourselves so we just never do.
Our parents are equally responsible for all this. They discriminate against their children based on their gender. Sons are never asked to come back home early and for girls there is a fixed time to come back home. Boys can leave home even at midnight and girls don’t have this freedom. Boys exploit this freedom, and most of them become rapists, junkies and criminals. Like girls are taught modesty, boys are never taught morality. This wrong guidance from parents and society that boys are in every way superior to girls has led to several crimes.
Like boys, girls can be strong, independent and fearless too only if they are taught how to. I know it’s hard but it’s good to break the old and rigid stereotypes against girls. It’s really important that we create a world where it’s easy to breathe for a girl, where everyone has an equal right to speak and do what little they can. We must create a world where being a girl won’t feel like a crime. So that girls won’t have to think about such questions as, Why is there strictness only for us? Why are there rules only for us? Why do I have to be at home before dark and boys can roam around the streets for the whole night? Why he can do anything and she can’t even do the good? Why does she have to tolerate every injustice? Why are we suppressed? Is it a crime to be a girl?
The author can be reached at shafiyawani33@gmail.com
