MOOL RAJ
From being a “blessing” to the “paradise beneath the feet” sums up the beautiful journey of a girl to a woman. A woman acquires multiple roles in her life. From becoming a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother, grandmother, aunt and much more. All her life she justifies all the roles expected of her by society sincerely. Beyond all these roles, she is an individual! A doctor, may be an engineer or a fashion designer. We never really know what wonders a woman can do.
Imagine that beautiful morning when a pregnant wife says to her husband that she doesn’t feel right and has to see the doctor. Husband rushes her to the hospital. Doctors and nurses surround her, examine her. Much to our amazement it’s time for the baby to hatch. Wife goes through the immense pain equivalent to breaking 20 bones at the same time and is screaming badly. After a moment of complete silence, you hear a soft cry – the voice of a little angel, wrapped in a sheet hardly able to move. The first sight of this doll with chubby pink cheeks, big round eyes and tiny hand and feet bring tears to the eyes of the father. He holds her, kisses her forehead and thanks God for this cute little gift. She becomes the center of attention for everyone in the family. Whoever visits, they bring tiny little frocks, jewellery and hair bands for the baby. Whenever father goes shopping, he cannot control himself from buying lots of toys for his girl, just to make her smile. The mother spends her day and night feeding the girl, teaching her life rules. They record her first word, her first step, first time she said “mama” or “baba”, her first day at school, her first exam and all her beautiful moments. What a cheerful time it is. The cute baby is now a very naughty, yet intelligent girl. She asks hundreds of questions – often leaves them answerless. They guide her to get good grades, make her parents proud, and get admission in the best college and university. Just what all good parents do. Protection from strangers, teaching her self-defense and asking her not to listen to strangers is one of the much highlighted trainings we do of our daughters and they do the same. The girl being an enthusiastic one, puts all her energy in studying and makes her parents proud. Life goes on and that cute little angel is now a big girl, striving day and night to make herself stand out. She is anxiously waiting for her admission to her dream university.
Suddenly one day she wakes up from a nightmare into a nightmare. All she sees are strangers, people she never met, she never talked to. People about whom she was always warned to stay away. She looks around trying to find her parents who said they will always be there for her no matter what. She runs from her life, trying to find people she knew, who loved her, adored her. But all in vain. She cries day and night. She is confused. She can’t understand what changed! What happened! Not allowing herself to accept the reality. Throughout this time she didn’t notice that one person who was with her throughout this duration. Who was beside her when she was running from reality, who cried with her when she was crying, who tried to comfort her when she was confused and lost. That one person was her husband, whom her parents trusted enough to leave her with. Her husband promised to stand with her during all the difficult phases and commitments of life. He was the one who was created by God for her, to help her accomplish the transition in becoming a woman from a girl. As soon as she realizes her husband’s support, love and care, she feels that something else which was very important for her is missing. The important thing missing was her freedom, her independence, her career, her education, her friends and all the things she wanted to do. The husband noticing the insecurities of his wife, promises to support her in whatever she wanted to achieve. This support made her transition successfully from being a naughty, careless little girl to a responsible, independent, professional woman.
Lately we have been hearing a lot that getting married to a man shatters the dreams of a good professional life for a woman. This is nothing but a mere misapprehension. Only if we are wise enough to choose a suitable life partner we can make our lives heaven. Selection of a supportive, educated and loving husband by parents and by the girl herself is a very important issue. Trading your daughter for interfaith, interrelation, inter-creed or caste marriages rather than education, love and sincerity is the biggest mistake parents now a days do. Saving your daughter all her life from strangers and then just giving her away to someone with the notion that a happy married life is her fate, is mere ignorance. How come sacrificing your daughter’s smile, her dreams, and her ambitions becomes so satisfying. This journey of that cute little doll to a responsible woman isn’t a bed full of roses, in fact it’s full of thorns. Choose wisely what future you are giving to your daughters who you have been protecting their whole lives.
The author is a regular columnist and freelance writer
